*Completed* "I WAS THERE FORE YOU WHEN NOBODY ELSE WAS! Not Robyn! Hell your own mom didn't even visit you!" Tears were water-falling down my cheeks. My face was burning, and my heart felt like it was coming out of my chest.
I continued, "I was th...
I hope you guys liked the book and the new cover. _________________________
"Why would she do this to me?" My voice was horse from yelling at Judaea last night. I was laying in my sisters lap on my bed. I've been out this house so long it doesn't even smell like home anymore.
"I don't know, I hate to kick you while you're down but have you heard?" Tiara asked.
All I manage to do was shake my head and she handed me her phone.
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"So she was somebody's prison bitch in jail?" I chuckled however found nothing at all funny.
Handing Tiara her phone mine buzzed--again. Judaea has been blowing my shit up.
Daddy😍💦: Can we just talk somewhere?
Daddy😍💦: Cyn I'm sorry I know I messed...
Daddy😍💦: Please Cyn just answer your pho...
Missed Call: Daddy😍💦
Was all my lock screen read. I really should be changing her name in my phone right now.
... Jodi
I know I fucked up. Like big time. I want to at least just talk to Cyn. But she won't answer any of my call or texts. But I can't blame her for it.
It seems like it's one thing after the other, my girlfriend is leaving me and Ceilo is telling everyone everything there is to know.
Quite honestly I'm amazed that she got out. But I'm not surprised that she'd go this far.
When I first found out my agent was calling me--running me down. My manager, cussed me out and my cousin is on the brink of loosing her job.
And at that moment I realized that I have dug a hole for myself to big to climb out off.
As a hustler my mind automatically jumps to how I can wiggle my way out of things but this time I can't. I've managed to hurt, bring down, and shit on everyone who meant something to me.
I'm a weapon of mass destruction against myself and everyone around me.
Currently I'm the only person in my house. My mom felt that I should be alone and so did everyone else.
But that was the last thing that I could possibly need.
Right now my mind is the biggest thing attacking me.
I don't want to be here anymore. All I do and all I can do is destroy.
My windows and curtains wide open I no longer cared about the flashing cameras outside--I no longer cared about anything.
I stripped from my clothes and walked into my bathroom.
Taking Xanax out of the cabinet, I poured five in my mouth, walked back into my room and snatched the Hennessy bottle of my dresser and returned to the bathroom.
Swallowing large amounts I ran the bath and laid in the water as it filled up.
I stared at the wall and occasionally would try to call Cyn.
But no answer, I wanted to at least have Cyn's voice be the last one I hear.
After a while it became harder and harder to breathe. And even harder to keep my eyes open, I've never been so tired.
In these last few moments of life I felt like a monster, and a coward.
I could never escape these thoughts until my eyes finally closed.
