Lush Life (Tradley au)

Chapter 8- Brad's POV

I'm really glad that Tristan's mum was so chilled out about him being gay, but it sucks that his dad had such a huge problem with it. Tristan's brave really, given that he came out to me after about 10 minutes of knowing me, but I did ask him quite a leading question beforehand. I'd known James since I was a child, and it took me ages to pluck up the courage to tell him. I'd been very occasionally saying things like 'James, I should probably tell you something.', but I'd had to give up as I just couldn't get the words out.

Until one day, when he asked me why I'd been acting so weirdly recently. I'd opened my mouth to reply, but had then intelligently responded by bursting into tears. I'd been panicking about the worst thing that could possibly happen, but I was totally wrong. James had held me in his arms, and when I finally managed to tell him that I liked boys, his immediate reaction was to hug me even tighter until I stopped crying. When I did, he just sat there babbling on about how he was ok with it and how nothing was going to change between us (even though he claims to be straight, but I'm not so sure), though his heart was in the right place.

As I'm thinking, it suddenly dawns on me that that was why Tristan clammed up on me when I asked him why he was so angry. He mentioned about moving because his dad left, but I had no idea that the situation was like that. I honestly don't know how anyone could treat their own child like that, and call them a 'freak'. It's not even like Tristan is one- sure he's mysterious (except for when he's been drinking), but that's hardly odd.

Given that I've only known Tristan for a couple of weeks, a lot has happened between us in that time. I've offended him, shared a bed with him, rubbed his back whilst he was being sick, cried on his shoulder, wiped his tears away, held his hand and god knows what else. James thought that it was funny to point out that I haven't kissed him yet, but as beautiful as Tristan is, I can't say I've had the urge to do that yet. 

He seems much too shy to be honest, although I've seen with my own eyes a totally different version of him when he was drunk at James' party, and being quite flirty. I secretly quite liked it, it was exciting. I enjoy flirting as much as the next person, but I've vowed to myself to avoid getting into another relationship- the whole point of summer is to relax. I need a break from love, after the whole messy breakup I went through with Josh, where he cheated on me and all hell broke loose. 

I'm slowly beginning to get over him, but it's hard, especially when I have to see him going around with his new boyfriend. Still, at least it's summer, so I don't have to avoid them in the school corridors anymore. I want this summer to be special- so I can just chill out, sort myself out (though that will take a while) and just have a break. Having a new friend to share it with is all good, but finding another crush is the last thing I need right now.

You're only young once, as my mum once told me, so it seems a shame to waste my time lusting after boys that I can't have, as that will just make me miserable. I've tried before to avoid falling for people, but I seem to have a special talent for developing crushes on people who are already in relationships or aren't gay, or if there's some other reason why they can't go out with me. On the plus side, I can easily identify the symptoms of what happens when I fall for someone, but that hasn't happened for a while. The closest I've been recently is when I've been holding Tristan's hand. But that's a different feeling altogether...

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So that turned into a really crap ramble at the end, I'm sorry!

I sunburned only the top half of my face at Wimbledon on Thursday, and that's the sort of stupid thing that would happen to me- instead of burning my whole face, or my arm or something, I manage to burn only part of my face, so I look even more ridiculous than normal. I had a great day though, so never mind!

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