My Not-So Sane Romance

Chapter 9

Deadpool's POV

I stood on a counter in the middle of the kitchen. The people were trying not to scream or move.

That's probably because you threatened to kill them.

I know! Shut the fuck up, I need to make sure the plan for the surprise works.

Yeah. You thought I forgot didn't you? Ha. Keep reading, it's gonna be epic and you're gonna be wishing it was me who did this for you.

"ALRIGHT PEOPLE LISTEN UP AND SHUT THE FUCK UP" I ordered.
I heard the collective "Holy shit" gasps from everyone else, and then continued with my demands.

"MY PSYCHOPATHIC FUTURE WIFE IS OUT THERE AND I NEED THE FANCIEST DINNER YOU'VE EVER MADE! IF I FIND SOME CHEAP ASS MICROWAVE DINNER, I'M GOING TO COOK THE FATTEST ONE HERE AND MAKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU EAT THEM!"

Oh my fucking God, chill out. That was a little extreme.

I will basically do anything at this point for Harley, so you can shut the fuck up and let me get us laid.

"IF I HEAR A SINGLE WORD FROM ANY OF YOU, I WILL KILL YOU. NONE OF YOU WILL GET HURT," I then pointed at an old dude with a tacky suit on, "Except for you. I saw you pay the waiter to spit in your wife's food. I'm watching you."

I stay there until the chefs start cooking for us. I walk out of the kitchen and then to the orchestra and whisper so Harley can't hear.

"Hey!" I motioned to the conductor who was pale white with fear. "Play your most romantical music. I want to be moved."

The conductor nodded and practically ran to his music stand. The music played immediately.

Ok, Wade this is your chance. Don't fuck it up.

Harley ran toward me, pulling my arm towards the door to leave. "Dead, what was taking ya so long? We gotta go."

I took both of her hands and lead her to the center table, not saying a word.

"Dead, what are ya doing?"

"Aw Harley, you can call me Wade. Sit, my beautiful angel, and enjoy."

She looked confused when I pulled out the chair for her. She sat down and two waiters brought candles and placed them one the left and right side of the table. I sat down across from her, looking at her surprised expression.

"W-wade. What's all this?"

"What does it look like, Quinny? It's a date," I said while laughing.