My Scares and Him

Dark Times

The doctors did their thing they do when someone has a miscarriage.
I stayed in the hospital for like a week.

After that they let me go.
Sebastian took me home.
And I stayed inside I didn't go out.
Sebastian felt so bad for me.

My parents came to see a few times but I didn't really talk to them.

I just went into this fuckin dark hole.
I went into depression and I cryed my self to sleep sometimes.

Sebastian comforted me
And sometimes I just wanted to be alone.
I just sat in silence and let the picture soak.
I didn't eat good I didn't sleep good.

I sat in bed

"Baby please talk to me"
Sebastian said sitting on the bed
"Paris you've got to talk to me"
I looked at him
"What's going on what's going on in your head"
I didn't say anything

He got up and walked out the room.
An hour later my doctor from the mental hospital Dr. Smith walked in my room.

"Hi Mrs. Stan now....
Sebastian can you give us a minute"
"Sure"
Sebastian shut the door
"I know your going through something right now but I need you to come back to earth paris you and sebastian are still young you can make another baby you still have a chance"
I look at him
"Your husband misses you try again I need you to get out of this depression stage your going through"

I would always listen to Dr. Smith he was the only person in the hospital who was nice to me.
He was like a second father to me.
I hugged him he hugged back.

"Everything is going to be okay paris"
"Thank you for stopping by Dr. Smith"
"Call me Jim and I'm not The one you should be thanking..sebastian called me to come see you"
After a few minutes passed and Jim left.
I peaked out the door and I saw Sebastian in the kitchen we looked really sad and worried.
He was leaning forward on the counter.

I walked out
And I walked up to sebastian
He notice me and turned around and I hugged him.

He let out a deep breath and hugged me back tightly.

"Hi"
I said to him
"Hi awe I'm so glad your okay"
"I'm done being my blue depressing person we can always try to make another"
"Right now I'm just glad your okay and in my arms"
"I love you Sebastian"
"I love you"
Me and sebastian made dinner together.

The next day we went over to my parents house.

"Oh baby I'm so glad your here and okay"
My mom said to me while hugging me
My dad gave me a hug so did Joy.
I missed them so much.
We had lunch with them.

One month passed
I was doing everything I need to do
I was taking my pills and doing everything possible to stay heathly and stay on top.

Me and sebastian were doing so well
We were so happy.

I was doing really good.

One night I sat down with sebastian
"So its been a month now and I've been going really good"
"Yes you have"
"And I was thinking if you wanted to give it another go"
"You want to try to have a baby"
"Yeah"
"You really want to do this"
"Yes"
"Okay baby"
Sebastian kissed me and he picked me up by my thighs. He took me to the bedroom he laid me on the bed.
We started taking our clothes off.
We made love.

Hopefully it works this time.
I really wanted to have a child with sebastian. He would be such a great dad.
The one thing I don't want to happen is to not be able to give him a family.