Reminiscent

Chapter Twenty

When my flight landed, the first thing I did was catch a cab to the hospital. I wandered around for a while, looking for Evie's room. Was it a mistake leaving her? God what was I thinking. I grow frustrated fast when I keep finding families that aren't mine occupying each rooms. I march to the information desk quickly, but before I can ask them where my child is, I hear a voice behind me.

"She's not here," they say.

I turn around to find Daniel with folded arms. He wears his white coat and stern look upon his face. He isn't happy with me — I'm assuming neither is anyone else. After all, what kind of mother leaves their daughter in hospital?

"What?" My eyes widen.

"She was sent home yesterday" he folds his arms, "Jesus, Where have you been? You've been gone a week"

"Why do you care where I go?" I retort.

He doesn't respond and instead says: "I want you to go back to staying with Caroline"

"Why?" I narrow my eyes.

"it's just...how it is" Daniel admits.

I'm so sick of this guy thinking he controls my life and for what reason? Why does he think this is okay? Why does he treat me like I'm so helpless and fragile?

"What if I decide to move back in with your brother and never speak to Caroline and the family again? What, would you not allow it?" I ask.

"be serious" he rolls his eyes.

"I am" I cry, "you don't control me, Daniel, I can go wherever I want for as long as I want without getting your permission first! Because you're nobody to me, you're just my husband's brother. That's it"

Was my intention to hurt him? Yeah, I think so. Maybe if he hated me then he could let me go — freeing me from whatever this is. Maybe the Halia he loved liked being controlled by Daniel or maybe she had him twisted around her little finger.

"then why are you here? Was it really to see Evie?" He asks.

I roll my eyes "are you serious?"

"If you cared about her then you wouldn't have left"

"I went to see my mother!" I scream.

"your mother?" He repeated in confusion.

"I had to see her. In Atlanta, Georgia, that's where I've been" I explain hostilely.

"and you guys made up?" His eyes are confused.

"well yeah. I found out about her gambling addiction" I sigh, "she stole from Caroline's trust fund that's why I disowned her, it wasn't just because of the affair"

Daniel takes a second to think about what I just announced.

"Does Caroline know?" He furrows his brows.

"no! look Daniel I'm telling you this because I want you to know that I'm getting my memories back more and more each day so whatever you don't want me to remember is going to come out!" I explain.

"not if I can help it" he lowers his voice.

Is he serious?

"help me out here Daniel! Do you know what it's like to have six years of your life wiped out and the only people who can fill in the blanks are the only people who won't help you! I don't even remember my daughter!"

There's a moment of silence — Daniel spends it pondering.

"The story about your mother? Did you remember or did your mother tell you that's what happened?" He asks.

"Why does that matter?" I roll my eyes.

"Not all your memories are accurate Halia, the images in your brain are swirled together and out of order. Don't trust everything in your head because your memories can be wrong" Daniel announces.

"What the hell does that mean, Daniel?" I raise my voice.

How could my memories be wrong? I've been seeing my life play out, how can the pictures in my head not be real?

"You could be remembering everything wrong! Okay," he matches my tone.

"What?"

"Did it ever occur to you that we're trying to help you?" he says, "did you ever think that we're not telling you everything to help you!"

I exhale all my frustration and anger. Sadness washes through my body as I look at the man before me.

"What happened to me? What was so bad that you won't tell me?" I ask.

"If you knew, it would kill you" he admits.

"Is that how I ended up in front of that car?" I retort. He looks away. "Which memories are wrong? Daniel please, this is my life"

"What you don't know won't hurt you, Halia, you need to trust me on that" he looks me in the eye. "If you want your life back, leave this hospital, go home to your husband and daughter, and never look back"

I don't want to believe him. I want to believe that I know what's right and what's wrong. I want my memories back — but what if they're all right? After all, they're the ones who remember what happened before all this — and I don't. What if they're all right and I'm just ruining my chances of a better life by reopening all old wounds?

I nod slowly.

"I have to go" Daniel touches my arm, "trust me on this" with that he leaves my sight.

I'm left standing silently, wondering what my next move will be. It was going to be finding Dean or find someone who knew him — that way I could get more answers, but now I'm realising that's not such a good idea.

So maybe the best idea now is to just go home.