We're driving for
a few minutes before
Seth speaks up again.
"Alright,"
he says,
"you have two options
of where we can go.
Or more, if you
can think of anything else.
I know this great place
where we can go bowling
about twenty minutes from here,
or we can stay local and
go back to that park I
showed you the last time."
I look over at him
just in time to
see him shrug.
"Whatever you want."
"It's nearly eight,"
I point out, with a
glance to his car's clock.
"We probably don't have time
for bowling since I
have to be home by nine.
The park doesn't sound
too bad, I guess."
I think I'd wanted
to go back there, anyway -
there's just something about
the stillness and greatness of it
that took my breath away before
and makes me want to return now.
It's one of those places that
makes you realize how
impossibly large the world is,
and how small you yourself
are in comparison.
"The park it is, then,"
Seth agrees,
executing a rather hasty
left turn at the next intersection,
as if he'd almost missed the road.
From there, it's not
very long until we're back
in the dirt lot from before,
breathing in the wintery air
as the stars shine out above us.
It's just as I remember it,
though the sky is a lot clearer
than the last time.
I can see millions of stars
silhouetted in the night sky,
each one paling in significance
beside the nearly-full moon.
It's enough
to take my breath away
yet again.
"You really like this place,"
Seth states with a
curious glance over at me,
"don't you?"
He sounds amused
more than anything -
maybe he can't see
the grandeur of this place
in the way that I can.
Maybe it's just another park
in the middle of the night to him.
But to me, it's
so much more wonderful.
"Yeah,"
I tell him,
ignoring the cold as I
lower myself to the ground.
From a seated position,
I recline until I'm flat on my back,
staring up at all the millions
of pinpricks of light
burning far above my head.
They fill my entire view,
making my breath catch
in my throat.
After a moment, I hear
a thump as Seth does the same;
glancing over, I find
that his head is only
a few inches away from mine.
"I've never really understood,"
he confesses to me,
"why people think stars
are so great.
What's the point of looking
up at something that is
too far away for you to reach?
It isn't like you'll
ever get there, anyway."
"Unless you're an astronaut,"
I point out.
"But they're just pretty,
I guess.
And when you think about
how far away they are,
how many millions of miles -
and then we're all
down here, and it makes you
think about how tiny
and insignificant we are
compared to them."
"Not insignificant,"
he corrects me,
"just different.
There's a difference
between us and the stars.
If we were all the same,
then that would make
us insignificant
compared to them."
I just stare at him
in shock for a moment.
Not to perpetuate stereotypes,
but I've never heard a guy
say something so insightful before.
He glances over
and grins at me -
but before I can
say anything in reply,
he adds,
"It's like with Natalia -
if we were all
airheads like her, then
we'd basically be screwed."
At that, I let out
a surprised laugh,
and he joins in before long.
It's funny how
he can turn what once was
a rather deep topic of conversation
into something lighter.
It's weird how he can
make me laugh so easily,
and how around him, I
feel none of the nervousness
that I've become accustomed
to feeling around Natalia.
I wonder if this is
how you're supposed to feel
around someone that your friend
has set you up with.
Is this how she feels
around Tyler, or
any of her other previous boyfriends?
"If we all were
as pretty and popular as her,"
I add on once I've
calmed down some,
"we would all become
less significant."
Seth gives me
a bit of a strange look, but
still nods his agreement.
"It's funny how
even though she basically
forced us to go
on this date, we're just
laying here making fun of her,"
I tell him a second later.
"Imagine how I'm
going to tell her that
when I get home tonight."
"Good luck with that,"
he chuckles,
"though, honestly,
she didn't have to do
quite as much forcing
as she would have liked."
"What?"
I have no idea
what he's talking about,
and he must be able to tell
from my expression, because
he lets out a small sigh
after a moment more
and moves to prop himself
up on his elbow.
"I guess what
I'm trying to say is that
I sort of wanted to
ask you out on a date
before she even
brought the idea up."
He's looking up
at the sky, rather
than at me, so I
can only see the silhouette
of his profile in the mood light.
I can't possibly tell
the expression on his face now.
"Really?"
My voice is nearly a whisper,
and it makes me cringe how
tiny it makes me sound.
Smaller than the stars,
smaller than the moment -
but I'm trying to wrap my mind
around the fact that Seth
had wanted to ask me out,
even without Natalia's scheming.
But for some reason, it
doesn't make me quite
as happy as I'd thought it would.
More than anything, it
just confuses me,
makes me wonder 'why?'
above all else.
Why me,
when he could probably
choose any other girl in school?
When I look back,
Seth's gaze is back on me,
with an intensity that makes
me feel a little lightheaded.
His eyes, first trained
on my own, soon divert
downwards a fraction of an inch.
He's so close to me right now,
closer than any boy
ever has been, save for my brothers,
and it makes my
skin crawl just a little,
though I don't know why.
It's when he finally
starts to lean closer
that I shoot upright,
startling us both
and nearly hitting
our head together.
"It's getting late,"
I tell him, pulling my phone
out of my pocket
with trembling hands.
Sure enough,
it reads 8:43.
We'll have just enough time
to pick Eunice up
and make it back home before nine
if we leave now.
"We should probably go
grab Eunice."
"Yeah, you're right,"
he sighs, pushing himself
up as well.
"Don't want you to
get in trouble, I guess."
I almost think that
he's mad at me
for whatever reason, but
a sideways glance at him
tells me that he's still wearing
the easygoing smile that
he always does.
I can still feel the tension
in the air around us
like a socket full of electricity,
but I do my best
to just ignore it
as I follow him back
to his car,
praying that my heart
with stop its frantic racing.
×
Honestly, this chapter made me cringe a lot, but whatever. Y'all can tell at me if you want, especially those of you who ship Natty. Matalia? Whatever you kids call it. Catty shippers, too, I know you're out there.
If you guys liked this chapter, I'd love if you would vote and leave me feedback! It'd be much appreciated <3
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Unparalleled
Poetry[Prequel to Misalignment] A year before she and Cam meet, Matty Leopold has yet to realize most of the problems that will dominate her near future. She's still stuck in the shadow of her older siblings, as she has been for most of her life - but wit...
