Sadly I had to decline Josh's offer of a 'play fight' – *nudge* *nudge* *wink* *wink* – as I knew I had to get back home to make mum and I some dinner. Although I have to say, his cheeky boy flirtatiousness was very tempting and I had to use all my self-control to resist his charms.
At the base of his apartment block, Josh took my face in his hands, gently drew it into his – and kissed me.
It was a full on, lingering kiss-athon, complete with knee trembling clichés. Afterwards he smiled, "That's a little taste of things to come. But we'll take it slow, Benita, you get me?" He asked.
"I get you," I said, my words quivery with passion.
###
On the bus home I felt completely conflicting emotions. Hurt and Confusion over the fact that my father may still be alive and somehow involved in an unfolding horror, and soaring elation over the strength of my feelings for Josh. I mean what other sixteen-year-old girl experiences her first love against such a weird and warped backdrop: none, other than Benita Badoe, of course.
I tried to take control of my tumbling emotions by focussing on what store cupboard ingredients we had at home and what meal I could make from them.
We always have tons of tuna, pasta, cheese and sweet corn – so tuna pasta bake it is, I thought to myself as I jumped off the bus.
At the high street caff, I stopped and peered inside; but there was no sign of Granny Grace; so I carried on home.
###
Putting the key in my front door, I was hit with a sudden feeling of apprehension, which prevented me from turning the key. I stepped back and looked around our tiny front garden, looking for any signs of intruder activity.
I found none.
Yet still I had a clawing anxiety, a sense of foreboding that swept over me in waves.
The urge to phone Josh was strong, and I didn't fight it – I phoned him.
"You missing me already," he said, his voice bright and cheery.
I was truthful, "Yes, I am. And I'm frightened to go inside my house, I wish you were with me."
His response was warm and reassuring, "I'm with you Benita, right here on the other end of the line. It's only right that you is fearful knowing what you know. Go inside and if you is spooked by anything let me know and I'll be there," he said.
As he spoke my anxiety abated and I entered, "is you in?" He asked.
"Yes – HELLO!" I shouted out, as I checked all the downstairs rooms.
"Check upstairs," said Josh.
I ran upstairs, checking: my room, mums, the bathroom, "Everything's alright, I was just being a frightened wuss," I said.
"You ain't know wuss Benita, you is fierce," said Josh.
I smiled, "Thanks, I appreciate your confidence in me. I'll go now..."
...Josh jumped in, "Wo, wo, wo – you don't say goodbye without saying the 'L' word," he said, over emphasising the 'L.'
My heart soared and I smiled, "You know I LIKE you," I said, teasingly.
He laughed, "Nice one Benita. And I'll work hard on getting that LIKE upgraded, you get me?"
"I get you," I said, before adding my, "goodbye."
###
The tuna pasta was mid bake when I heard mum's fumbling key in the door followed by the ever-familiar roar of, "You home daughter?"
