Im savannah , 16 and im a sophmore in high school about four years ago i found out i was gay .. Iwas bi for a while then i realized i have no feelings for guys so im now a Lesbian. Anyways my frist day of my freshman year i told my self i wanna know what it feels like when someone cares about you , loves you because my home life is fighting , fighting , and fighting .and ireally had no one who cared about me even though i went in with a girlfriend iknew ididnt love her that she wasnt the one . Back to my frist day igot up at 6 yes early i was so tired but i got up did my hair and makeup wasnt my best looken day thats forsure my friend texted me "hey can i get a ride" so we picked her up and went to school . I didnt have a locker yet which sucked but we walked around till the frist bell rang at 7:25 we said our byes and went to class ihad spanish frist iwalked in looked around i saw a couple people i knew but ididnt talk to the teacher explained him self and for the frist time i was quite . The period went by kinda slow i walked out and went right down the hall to my second period but on my way there i saw this beautiful girl i couldnt stop stareing almost ran into a poll i thought im such an idiot god that was so embrassing ifianly reached second period algbra readiness i then again looked around and i had no one in this class boo.! The bell rang i sat down and the teacher exlained the class so far my teachers seemed cool i stayed quite once again waiting for the class to end the bell rang finally i then had brunch finally enough listening to stupid speaches i walked around with a friend talking about our classes i zoned out in the middel of what she was saying then i heard the bell telling us to get to class so i walked to class intro to bussiness this is gonna suck walked in saw no one again this sucked i was listen to the teacher i zoned out i havent got that girl out of my mind the teacher passed out papers like every class so far i dont get why the teacher pass these out im just gonna throw them away anyways i felt my phone vibarte ipulled it out ugh the girlfriend i text back because i had nothing else to do the bell rang i said yay out loud but no one heard thank god i walked to the next wing i have english next i walked in finally i knew alot of people in this class i sat next to a friend and this guy he was so funny we were siting there making fun of the teacher i know i anit gonna like her the period went by fast i left i had Health next i had across the school so i walked heka fast to make sure i got there on time ilooked aroind when i got there like everytime and i had some people i knew others i didnt like and of course he sat me next to one i didnt like i thought yay ! He talked i zoned out again uaslly i pay attenion but i cant stop thinking about her i wonder if she saw me and if so what does she think god i hate this . Bell rang finally lunch by my self .. None of my friends had my lunch that i knew of so i walked and sat down thinking of her why cant i stop thinking about her i have a girlfriend i shouldnt be think about someone else who am i kidding ialways do it im not a player just i always talk to someon while im w someone else yes its a game but its how i worked but she was different the way i felt for her and the way i thought bout her way differnt ..i had pe next i went to the gym amd sat down i looked up and saw her walking in i thought fuck ! But i was happy to i loved seing her but this feelings had me mixed up the teacher called my name snaping into reality and then she says "shelice ?" the girl i saw in the moring said here wow shelice thats a really beautiful name i smiled not relizeing she was looking at me i looked down kuz i was embrassed i then looked around one to see whoses in here some people i know and also to see her . The teacher talked did i listen nope she bored me it was the last period for today i was happy but sad kuz i wanted to see her more the bell rang i went out frount my girlfriend picked me up yay not ! Really didnt wanna see her but i hung out with her i didnt wanna be with her but i didnt wanna hurt her too kuz i care bout people more than i should . So we hung out the whole time i was thinking of shelice i finally left i got home took a shower and layed down looking at the celing thinking about her i feel asleep thinking about her i couldnt wait to see her the next moring i woke up happy because i get to see her igot ready trying to look my best iwent to school when i was walking around i looked everywere i didnt see her i got sad then i walked my friend to her class and saw her i was heka happy to see her but i dont think she noticed me iwent to my class iwas so happy i get to see her after this the bell rang i walked out fast trying to catch her and i did the next three classes were a bore i was thinking about her the whole time the girlfriend texted me at lunch and said she is going to go to my school i thought shit ! I didnt want her to come here .. Finally lunch was over i was stuck in my obssive thoughts i saw here and a smile grew on my face it was like this for the rest of the week it was only tuesday friday came and i was really down kuz im stuck at my dads all weekend all weekend i was in my room thinking about her damn she couldnt get out of my thoughts i kept thinking did she see me if so is she thinking about me ?
what are these feelings i have for her ?
