The bad boys baby girl ☠️

Not goodbye, just one less hello

    •ATTENTION! There IS SUICIDAL MOMENT IN THIS CHAPTER! IF THAT IS A PROBLEM SKIP IT!!•
*Shawns p.o.v*
       The past three days consisted of me and Ivanna sleeping next to each other, cuddling, enjoying movies, and oh I almost forgot the company of my most favorite person in the world. (Note the EXTREME SARCASM) aka Ash Ryder. Yep, my old time best friend, the total man whore, I'm a nice guy I really am but killing my girlfriend that I had at the time just is NOT cool.

        I see her Raven black hair cascading down her curvaceous body stopping right at her back side. Not to mention the tight sapphire blue dress she had on that hugged her in all the right places. Her cheeks flushed pink "What are you looking at?" She screamed over the loud music. Her crystal blue eyes staring innocently at me and her long lashes hitting her cheekbones. I gave a lopsided grin and threw my arm over her shoulders whispering huskily in her ear "I am looking at my future, I see my future wife and the future mother of my children, most of all I see my one and only love of my life." She grabbed my body with her small arms and hands "I love you." I froze. Shocked I didn't say it first . "I..I .. I love you too". We sat on the couch and I checked my phone (oh shizz) it's 1:30! Rose had work at 7 she has to go to sleep very soon! "Baby you gotta leave and sleep so I'm going to call Ash so he can drop you off since I'm not sober to drive ok? " she nodded and I went ahead and texted Ash. He came around ten minutes later. His hair disheveled and he was still in sweats. "Come on Rose I want to go back to bed after I drop you off" he said groggily. "MAKE SURE TO WEAR HELMETS!" I screamed even though they were right next to me. "Yes sir." Rose commented smirking before pressing her body against mine and slowly biting my lip causing me to groan. "Not right now you weirdos find a room!" Ash screamed. Rose backed up and whispered "I love you shaw." And skipped off to Ash. I had a bad feeling that night but I pushed it off and kept drinking. The next morning I woke up and heard my mother sobbing quietly. "Shawn, baby I'm so.." She heaved and hiccuped "sorry" I looked at her worried, my palms got sweaty "why mom?" She looked down. "She's gone." Instantly I knew who she was referring too and ran out sticking my key into the ignition driving as fast as I could. I got there and went to the front desk. "Where is Stella Asia Nations???!!" My mind cloudy. "Sir, she passed away last night at 12:30 her body was brought in. She was in a motorcycle accident. The driver suffers 6 broken ribs and a fractured spine."  I left and went back home, I ran up to my room and slamming the door. My back against the door as I screamed, I felt tears sting my face, cooling it down. "I HATE MY LIFE. Why??!!! WHY COULDN'T IT BE ME? WHY COULDN'T I HAVE BEEN ON THE BIKE WITH HIM?!!" I punched my wall feeling a stinging pain but I kept going. I started feeling liquid running down my hand. I couldn't stop. I wanted more. I wanted more of this stinging sensation. I found a blade I had put away. With shaky hands I grabbed it. Placed it on the top of my wrist. This is for telling her to leave. Cut. This is for letting them leave. Cut. I continued the pattern till my whole arm was gushing blood. I cried and sobbed holding my hand over my mouth. I woke up the next day and the day after and the day after and just became a total zombie. That changed me. I loved her so much. She was mine. He ruined that. He killed her. Intentional or not. It happened.

                   As I was saying, we were currently baking. It was me, Ivy and him. We had a typical night. We baked. Almost caught the house on fire. Threw flour at each other. Busted eggs on each other's heads, wrestled in the jacuzzi, watched movies. I do care about Ivanna. But Stella kept creeping up into my head. I loved her body, her mind, her witty jokes. The thought of her tore me to pieces. So I left. I couldn't take it. I needed to breath. I went to the cemetery.

         I grabbed a note book and pen and went to her grave stone. I wrote her a letter. She loved reading. I wrote "Stella my dear, my true love, my heart and mind. I miss you, I miss you like there is no tommorow. My stomach still churns at your name. I still get butterfly's thinking of the times we spent together. You built me up. You kept me up. I loved when you got mad how your face would flush red. I hated when you were sad, your nose would wrinkle and I hated the thought of you being sad. I love you baby girl. I know your up there with the big man watching over. This is not goodbye. This is perhaps just one less hello. Love the president of your fan club." I folded it and buried it next to her stone under a flower.