•. | SAVE ME | .•

[Y/n]

Let me tell you things that you never knew about me. I'm in depression. Depression isn't just sadness, its a lot of things. Depression isn't the best thing to be in. It's like drowning in water but your not.

I'm suicidal. Being suicidal doesn't mean you just wanna die, it can mean thinking negative about yourself and feel like you deserve to die. Suicide seems like the only way out of pain for me, wait let me change that, it's the only way. Now I'm not saying that you should suicide because your depressed or because you're suicidal or in pain.

I self harm. Self harm is hard to live with sometimes. Hurting myself is like cutting paper with scissors but instead I'm cutting my skin and using a razor. When I get home I get my razor and cut to every flaw I see and every insult I heard that day. It's kinda like a routine for me.

I'm a loner as you know already. Oh wait, you don't yet. Alone. I'm always alone. You might be thinking, what about pretty boy? Well I felt like being alone is too alone and too quiet. Why am i so alone? You see, people these days only care about looks, not personality. Trust me on this, I'm so sure that you're not sure. Still don't trust me? Then why don't you live and pay attention to life more than just listening to your thoughts all day. People don't like what they see on me so I'm always alone. I choose to be a loner because you don't always have to depend on anybody when you need them.

My parents died from suicide making me the only one left in the house now. They were bullied by haters and judgers kinda like the people at my old school. My mom and dad both were suicidal and depressed due to people. Mom and dad wasn't always suicidal and depressed, they used to be the happiest people on earth until you know what happened.

But do you know what changes people???... People. People change people. Words. Words effect them. Just think of how people and words work together. I know your probably thinking what the fuck is she saying? The truth is, I don't even know.  I don't make sense at all but I only know this because I had experience this once.

When I was a kid I always heard my teachers saying "Be careful about what you say, words are strong." And now that I'm older I start to understand that.

All these things are natural right? I don't know. Oh well.

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There's gonna be more chapters just wait. All of the things that I texted didn't make sense at all.