Adopted by 5 Seconds of Summer

8: Regret

An: Sorry if this is crappy. I just finished it and it's unedited. I didn't have much to write for this chapter, so as I said I finished it. I hope you like it! Also there is a slight trigger warning if you're really sensitive to that.

Nizhoni's pov

"I'm just going to stay here for a bit."

I wasn't in the mood to be around anyone so, I stayed in the studio. Thankfully everyone just left, not thinking twice.

I've been really depressed lately since my dad practically despise my existence, my mom pities me, and my brother completely ignores me.

I thought siblings would be there to comfort you, stick by you no matter what, and tell you everything will okay. I wish he would like he used too.

At first when he first found out he's tell me not to hurt myself and not to be so negative about things. Then after a while I guess he got tired of it and he started to make fun of me and my insecurities. He'd make me feel so little and small compare to him. Like he has this power over me and I hate it. I don't understand why he did this. For popularity? For a laugh? Or because he simply just hates me? Ever since he turned on me, I'm all of a sudden everyone's punching bag.

The fact though that he is popular at school is what makes me feel even smaller than him too. Everyone loves him since he's sorta a jock and in within the trends. He's really outgoing, but he's more of a follower of society. Then you have me, the quiet, shy, awkward person that everyone looks at and automatically labeled them as a freak. The one that society shits on. The one that stands out in a terrible way because of how I dress, the music I listen to, and because of how I just am personality wise. I didn't fucken choose to be like this.

I sighed at my thoughts and wiped my face to rid the tears that were forming. I started to strum a familiar pattern and began to hum. Thus song helped me a lot emotionally.

Since there wasn't anyone around, I began to sing. Since I'm really self conscious about my voice. The girls are the only ones I'll let hear me.

She says she wants to end it all when she's all alone in her room
She cries
The way she feels inside is too much for her
When all you got is these four walls
It's not that hard to feel so small
Or even exist at all
How come no one heard her when she said

Maybe I'm better off dead
If I was would it finally be enough
To shut out all those voices in my head?
Maybe I'm better off dead
Better off dead!
Did you hear a word
Hear a word I said?
This is not where I belong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
Gone, gone
This is not where I belong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

She doesn't know she's beautiful
'Cause no one's ever told her so
And the demons that she hides are all she knows
And maybe she can fall in love with someone in her life that she could trust
And tell her she's enough (will someone tell her she's enough?)
How come no one heard her when she said

Maybe I'm better off dead
If I was would it finally be enough
To shut out all those voices in my head?
Maybe I'm better off dead
Better off dead!
Did you hear a word
Hear a word I said?
This is not where I belong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
This is not where I belong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone