It's Your Choice

Chapter 5 : Forgetting, Or at Least Trying.

Casey's P.O.V

After Aaron walked past me in the living room to his room I fell to the ground. I turn around to try and scream his name but I can't get enough oxygen to do it. I crawl to the machine just as I want to press the button after I put the mask on I pass out.

Aaron's P.O.V

I have this wry feeling in my stomach.

Something is wrong...

I walk out of my room to see Casey laying on the ground passed out with the mask on her face. I rush over to her and press the needed buttons so she can get her oxygen up.

By now I have known how to work the machine. There must have only been three other times that this has happened to her.

I give her CPR and finally she starts breathing a little. I put the mask on her and she slowly opens her eyes.

Casey's P.O.V

When I open my eyes all I see is Aaron above me with a worried look in his eyes. I focus my sight on him and ask ,"What happened?"

He backs away and says ,"You passed out again. You weren't breathing. I thought I lost you again."

I slowly sit up and lean against the wall and I say ,"Aaron you haven't lost me and you never will." He shakes his head and asks ,"Than why are you so distant?"

I than say ,"I am forgetting what you did to me. Or at least trying. Seeing you every day isn't helping, tho."

He than stands up and I look up at him. He than says ,"I never meant to hurt you. I was scared, ok." As he said that he walked back into his room.

I slowly stand up and drag my machine into my room as well as my bag I had with my laptop in.

I start to do my assignment and surprisingly I finish quicker than I expected I would. It only took me four hours. Quick right. Note the sarcasm.

I build up the guts to go out of my room. As I walk past the living room into the kitchen to get something to eat I spot Aaron in the living room on the couch watching TV.

Just as I turn around he stands right in front of me.

He than asks ,"Can we please talk about this I can't take the silence between us it's deafening?"

I than ask ,"What is there to talk about? You left without an explanation, without anything and now a year later you want to tell me why you left. Do you know what you have done to me?"

He looks down and back at me and says ,"Yeah I know exactly what I did. I broke you. Have you ever thought that it broke me to leave without telling you. To me you were the one and when the MRI showed what it showed I didn't have enough courage to tell you. That's why I left without telling you or anyone for that matter."

I wanted to know what the MRI showed. I wanted to know what happened in that year. I wanted an explanation but right now I didn't as well. Maybe he felt the same as I did. Just maybe.

I look at him and say ,"You shattered my heart into a million pieces. It's a year later and I am still picking them up. I am still in love with you. I love you to fucking death. But all you want is for me to forget about everything forget that you broke me. Forget that you hurt me. Forget what you have done to my self confidence. Everything I did reminded me of you. Even making hot chocolate or playing Call Of Duty. I couldn't do anything without breaking out in tears"

Just as I say that I start crying. I than continue ,"...like right now. Looking at you realizing I will never stop loving you hurts because I want you back. I seriously do but at the back of my mind every time you leave that door, I think that you might never come back."

I push past him and start walking away. He grabs my wrist and turns me around and says ,"If I didn't leave we wouldn't be here fighting right now. I wanted to stay. To stay with you most of all but my parents forced me to leave. They told me I should tell you because you would be supportive but I didn't listen. It's my fault."

I pull my wrist away from his and say ,"You finally realized it. I might be stubborn but that's because I got hurt so much in my life. Manipulated. Screamed at. Being treated like dirt and that's by my own family. And you who I thought would never hurt me actually hurt me the most. The last thing I am gonna say is a heart can only take so much and right now my system is being overloaded. Just about ready to burst. Shatter even more than it already has."

I walk into my room, close the door and lay on my bed. Sobbing.

Aaron's P.O.V

How much harder should I try? How am I suppose to win her back? What more does she want? Does she still love me like she says she does?

These are all questions I don't know the answer to. She doesn't know what I have been through yet she didn't ask for an explanation. Why doesn't she want an explanation?

Will she forgive me when she hears my explanation? Will she think I am making up a story to cover up what she thinks really happened?

I walk into my room and shut my door. Ok, more like slam my door. I sit on my bed and tears start to roll out of my eyes.

You are probably thinking I am some sort of softy for crying so much, well let me tell you this. I am not a softy. It just hurts so bad not being able to hold her in my arms. Knowing that I hurt her so bad she wants nothing to do with me. Knowing that I lost the girl I was planning on marrying.

Knowing she is probably crying right know and it's my fault. Knowing that we both love each other but she doesn't want anything to do with me.

That hurts like hell!

I will wait for her to be ready to here my explanation out. To let me explain to her what the real reasons are.

I will do anything to get her back.

And don't tell me the skies the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

Absolutely anything.

That is what I am gonna try.