Poems & Quotes

Consistant State Of

When I'm happy, I forget I have anxiety.
I forget I have depression.
I smile and I laugh and I enjoy life.

But then there are these mere moments when I feel depressed again.
And it isn't the depressed you're thinking of.
I do not cause self harm in the way you think.
I do however bully myself.
My thoughts get me every night and sometimes even in the middle of the day.

I physically, emotionally, and mentally abuse myself.
Then I cling on to the hope that I have someone in my life that can help me.
I cling on to people in hope they will help me...
But I cling on to much, and I end up being left in the end.

And that causes me more pain.
I beat myself up, but not the way you think.
And I cannot contain how I am.
I cannot stop who I am.
But I wish it was all over.

I want to feel happy.
I want to know what eternal happiness is.
But I simply cannot.

I have felt happiness before.
I have felt sadness before.
I am in a state of life where I just gave up.
I'm not sad, but I'm not happy.
And I don't know what to do.
I still need help, but talking to people doesn't solve anything.

I don't want to talk about my problems.
I want to live my life in the moment.
Without worry, without sadness.
But the world doesn't always work like that.