Dear You,

Almost

Dear You,

You almost fought for me. I almost begged you. We almost kept going. The saddest word out of all the 1,025,109.8 words in the English language. I thought I was moving on, but one day a friend asked me, "If you could have one wish what would it be?" The first thing I thought of was to waste the wish on you. The hardest part about me walking away from you, is that I know you won't run after me. It's been almost half a year. I should've been over this months ago, but I'm not. I'm not over you because a stubborn part of me doesn't want to let go how hard I try. I don't know what it is. I don't know what's holding me back. I remember back when we were together. We were on the couch re watching gossip girls, when I asked you if you were ever going to leave me. "Never." You said you would never leave me, but you did. Missing you is the hardest thing I've got to deal with everyday. The thing is, I probably won't be beating myself up this much, if you gave me a reason. A reason to why you hurt me, and left me to be tortured with so many questions to which I never got an answer to. That's why it's so hard for me to move on. There's something about me that just made you stop loving me and I don't know what that is. The thought is killing me. I never got your honest opinion and it's what's holding me back. The answer was all I've ever wanted. I wasted so much time with you because I didn't know it was going to end. I'm sorry that I gave you everything in the world without making sure you wanted it first. I'm sorry that I fell in love with you in the first place.

Sincerely,

Me