The Hopeless Romantic ✔️

Chapter twelve.

I kept wondering why me? Out of all the people in our entire school, why did Jace decide to talk to me? I barely slept last night because of it. I wanted to ask him so badly but I didn't have the guts to even speak to him. He was the one starting up a conversation with me and I just went along with it.

The bus finally got going and we were on our way home. Jace was still seated next to me and I couldn't help but tap my finger on my book multiple times. I was nervous. I was freaking out because this was so unreal. "Are you nervous?" Jace asked me, I could see his smirk from the corner of my eye.

"Nope," I said quickly, "I'm completely fine." Of course, I lied. I was a good liar, I knew that.

He didn't say anything in response. Maybe it was because we were on our street and the bus would be coming to a stop any minute. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as the bus finally came to a halt. Jace got up and turned around to see Seth still sitting in his seat behind me. "Catch you later."

Seth nodded. "See ya!"

I breathed in and out and I followed Jace out of the bus, I said thank you to the bus driver as he closed the doors. I still held onto my book in my hand, I looked like a nerd right now as the bus roared off into the distance and it suddenly became quiet between Jace and I.

He smiled at me and began walking. "You coming?"

My face went red hot and I quickly caught up to him. We were a few houses away from where we both lived and instead of feeling the cold, I felt the warmth of how nervous I was to be around him. My stomach was surrounded by butterflies and dragons and the entire zoo. My hands were sweaty and I felt so insecure in that moment. I was not a cheerleader and I was definitely not apart of his crowd. Maybe he was talking to me because we lived opposite each other and we caught the same bus even though he had a car. I just didn't understand it. I gathered all of the courage I had in me to speak. To ask him something, to be the first one to start a conversation with him. This wasn't the Avery that I knew, where had she gone?

"Why do you catch a bus when you have a car?" I finally asked just before we approached our houses.

I kept my eyes focused on the street, not wanting to keep eye contact with him. "I want to save gas." He told me.

I nodded at his response. "Why? School is really close if you drive by car." I added with a small smile. I finally turned my head towards him but he was already looking at me.

"I know," he said, "but I prefer to bus." We finally reached my house, Jace had to cross the road to get to his. "I'll catch you later." He said and before I could reply, he already raced across the road to his house. He disappeared inside while I was still standing outside. It took me a while, because I was thinking. But, I finally headed inside my empty house.

"Dammit." I cursed at myself as I stared at my bottle of medication that lied on the counter. I forgot to take them this morning but it was not like they were working anyway. I sat in front of the television with my laptop on my lap and I began doing my History assignment. It was then that I realised that I felt incredibly light headed. I knew what it meant and I closed my laptop lid in defeat. This was my life. This was how I had to live. I wanted to cry and I wanted it to all go away.

Once I got up from my seat, my head felt like an earthquake was rumbling inside of it and my legs felt like they were going to collapse. This wasn't going to ruin my afternoon, but maybe it already had. I walked into my bedroom to find my drink bottle sitting on my bedside table. I slowly walked over to it and picked it up. It wasn't cold but it was enough for me to take a huge drink out of it.

The water rushed down my throat and it felt nice but it didn't stop my head from spinning. I should have slept, I should have relaxed but I refused to let it slow me down. My head was spinning, an earthquake already erupting inside of my head. My legs were still wobbling and I held onto anything I could to get me back into the living room.