{A/N: Hello! Here is the second chapter! If you have any feedback, feel free to comment on the story or message me. Questions, concerns, and suggestions are much appreciated! Thanks for reading!}It's been about five months now. Since the attack on the Avengers Head Quarters. That's what everyone is referring to it now at least. *
When we need to talk about the incident itself or the estimated location of Bucky Barnes-the Winter Soldier- that's what they call it; The Attack. It's no longer about her. I doubt she would want it to be anyway.
No one has forgotten her, of course, not yet at least. But no one mentions her anymore.
For a little while they all understood. Everyone understood. I assume because they were all feeling pain. They were all feeling the loss. That unbelievable vacancy that changed the atmosphere and the weight carried on everyone's shoulders.
Around month number two, most of them just dropped the weight and went on with their day like they had erased her fingerprints from their past. It took time to get over it.
Vision was the first, but that shouldn't be surprising. Clint and Tony's attitudes changed but they stopped mentioning her or telling jokes that were made with her. Wanda and Natasha remained somber and showed little emotion. They chose to get over it and not let it eat at them any longer.
Steve started letting go about a month later. He blamed himself, I think. Bucky Barnes is his friend. His "responsibility." When he dropped the weight of Christine's ghost, he picked up his efforts on finding his friend.
He thinks he'll find him and be able to bring back the man he knew. I don't think that's possible. I don't understand how he can go from caring so much about her safety to trying to protect her killer. "It's much more complicated," he keeps telling me. I don't think I'd want to understand even if he tried to explain.
Maria was quieter. She did her work and went home. She wouldn't go out with Wanda and Nat until last month. Which is good for her, that she started doing something "normal" again. When she stopped eating, that's when we started to notice. The girls stepped in. It took another week of coaxing from them before she agreed to go out for lunch with them. I assume it went well because they've gone out every night since.
Wanda told me before I left that this should be my last time coming out here. That over twenty trips out here wasn't helping me move past this. She knows that I know she's right. I was made aware of the fact that I never got to tell Christine how I felt towards her. That because she never knew, I shouldn't act like she did. Maybe they all made the right choice. To not only forget that we lost a team member, but a friend.
So, here I stand. In front of her grave for the last time. I can't decide if I should say anything out loud to let her know I'm not coming back. It's not like she has given me that same courtesy. In my mind, her face isn't as clear anymore. That's when the hurt starts to fade. But like a fool, I come to visit her and the pain comes back again. The Attack keeps replaying in my mind.
Wanda knows it too. I can tell by the looks she gives me. She confirmed that she knew this morning when she told me I should consider this walk out here to be the last time. It wasn't her words that angered me. It was the fact that I agreed so quickly.
I wave to Paul, the old groundskeeper before placing the flowers I brought in front of her headstone. I've gotten to know him over the twenty some-odd visits I have made. He took this job after his wife and son passed away in a car accident. Paul told me that he couldn't stand the thought of their deathbeds not being kept clean. He told me that he won't let one weed grow on any of these graves, but especially not theirs.
I told him everything I could remember about Christine. Well, everything but her enhancements of course. I told him how I got close. I got so close to having everything. He told me that that is how he and I are alike. We had nearly everything and then lost it. But he told me we were too alike, and that he didn't want to see me turn into him.
He told me the same thing Wanda did this morning, a couple weeks ago. He said that coming to this place everyday has changed him. That he's old and stuck in his ways, and can't leave now. But he said one of us should move on, at least for the others sake.
At first I was upset that he would think like that. That I could just leave her behind. He told me that "life and time don't wait around like you and I are doing. It's not alright to forget her, but you don't have to stand there and pretend she's coming back."
After I set the flowers down, Paul walked over.
"This is the last time, isn't it?"
I took a deep breath before speaking to him.
"Yes, I'm afraid it is." I tell him, offering my hand for him to shake.
"Good," he said, taking my hand in a firm grasp, "Now take what you learned from her, and use it. Whatever she did to make such a mark on your heart, you make that mark on others. She must have been some girl." He said with a small smile.
"She was." After hearing my words, Paul puts his hand on my back.
"You won't have to worry, I'll take care of her." Paul said.
I nodded my head and turned to walk away. This was the last time I would be here.
The Avengers- we have work to do.
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