Chapter 4: This Is Critical, I'm Feeling Helpless

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{A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you like the story so far.}

With every ring of the phone, as I wait for the line to be picked up, my heart is beating faster. What was I to say? 'Hey, uh, guess what? I'm actually still breathing, which in theory is cool.'

As my heartbeat quickens, the rings seem to get slower. Paul grabs my hand and it was only then that I realized how much I was shaking. Why should I be nervous? Isn't it a good thing I'm back?

By the time I make eye contact with Paul and see him give an encouraging smile, I hear the line has been picked up before theres a voice in my ear.

"Hello?"

"Uh, hey Nat. It's me." I say in possibly the smallest voice I've ever heard. I can't believe it belongs to me.

"..." The only noice audible on the other end of this call is the hitch in her breath.

"Nat, I-It's me, Chris? Christine Blake?"

"Say that again? And know that if you're lying, I'll find you." She said shakily.

"Natasha, it's me. I, um, it's actually a strange series of events. You see, I just kind of... woke up? That, uh, yeah that still doesn't do it justice..."

"..." She's silent again. Why hasn't she said anything?

"Where are you?" She asks smoothly.

"I'm at the cemetery. Um, the groundskeeper, Paul is here with me. But, I didn't know who to call. I don't know how this happened. It just did!" I say nervously.

"I'm on my way. Stay there. I'll be there soon."

"Thank you, Nat. Really. Oh! Nat?"

"Yeah?"

"Please, leave this between us right now. I-I don't know if I want to tell everyone. At least not yet. I think some things have changed... a-about me, I mean. I don't know what I'm capable of."

"I haven't told anyone. If you haven't noticed, keeping secrets is kind of my thing." She replied.

"Thanks. This means a lot to me."

"Yeah, of course. Who would pass up the opportunity to see their friend after months of being dead?" Sarcasm is her defense.

"See you soon." I don't wait for a response before I hang up the phone.

"So?" Paul asks.

"She's headed this way." I smile softly.

"Which one?" He asks.

"What?" I ask.

"The strange one, the stoic one, or the redhead?" He asks. I'm glad he gave a hair color because otherwise I wouldn't know who was considered which in his opinion.

"The redhead." I said.

"She's been sent to get him, you know." He said slowly.

"Sorry?" I question.

"They all have been. But when it's her, he usually leaves pretty quickly. When it's his sister or someone else, he takes his time leaving." The only person who would do something like that would be Pietro.

"But it's been five months. I guess grief isn't something you can measure to a timeline..." I wondered aloud.

"You know, the reason I took this job was to take care of my wife and son. I promised her the day we married that I would take care of her as long as I lived. Working here is keeping my promise. It wasn't easy at first. The work was fine but being here with her everyday and knowing she was gone probably didn't do much to help me 'overcome' my grief. But Claire was everything to me. Just because she's not walking doesn't mean I had to stop caring." Paul told me.

"I'm sorry for your loss. I can see how much you loved her."

"I still do. And he still loves you."

Before I can reply there's a knock on the door. Paul gets up to open the door and I stand, preparing for the worst.

"Hey Paul! How are you?"

"Red! I'm fine, come in! There's someone to see you."

When Paul opens the door to let her in, I hold my breath. There are at least three scenarios that could play out here.
She walks in slowly before saying, "so, decided that being dead isn't all that great, huh?"
"I don't know. I didn't know I died until I woke up."

"You want to talk about it?" She asks, stepping closer.

"Not yet. What I'd really like is a shower, then we can search for an explanation I guess." I shrug my shoulders. My body is still aching.

"Yeah, that's the only reason I haven't hugged you yet. Five months is a little long to go without proper hygiene." She smirks.

"Paul, thank you so much for your hospitality." I say in gratitude with a tired smile.

"Of course, if you ever need anything, you know where to find me." He shrugs.

"Ready?" Nat asks softly. With a heavy sigh, I nod my head and follow her.

----------

The ride back to Nat's apartment is relatively silent. I know I'm in shock, but Nat's silence is a little unsettling.

"You okay?" I ask.

She snorts and rolls her eyes, "I should be the one asking you."

I smile, "I'm alright, I think... For now at least."

"You sure you don't want to see a doctor or something?" She asks.

"Considering I was pronounced dead five months ago? I don't think a trip to the doctor's is going to give us the answer we want." I mumble.

"Would anyone have answers for this?" Nat huffs before continuing, "Why don't you want to go back to everyone, huh? The team loved-loves and supports you, Chris!"

"You just said yourself! 'Loved.' That's past tense. I-"

"Thank you, fourth grade english teacher." She states while rolling her eyes.

"Just listen, please? I'm scared Nat. I think some things changed. Obviously, something had to change for me to be among the living. But, I made water appear. To the point I thought I was drowning. Right before I felt like I could hold my breath any longer, I shattered the coffin. I took the majority of the grave out with it. I shouldn't be able to do that! That's not something in my skill set. And... I'm not healing like I should. It's been at least three hours since I've climbed out. My condition hasn't changed." I fill her in, wiping the tear that dared to escape. Stupid allergies.

"If you wanna lie low, I can help. But I don't want you to be alone. I can respect your need for privacy. I'm sorry that I didn't before. I know this must be harrowing for you. It is for me too. It's not everyday you bury something and have it crawl back up. The team isn't the same without you. It hasn't been easy to let you go." Nat finished quietly.

"I couldn't begin to imagine what its been like. I don't know if I can control whatever is happening. I want to figure out what I am now before others do. That's why I called you." I tell her.

"Then we are going to need a place where you can figure this out." Nat states, clearly waiting for my input.

Where could we possibly go?

"I would like a shower first..." I giggle.

"Could you hold on long enough to get to a safehouse? I think you're gonna want a more homely place to settle in." She suggests.

"Clint's?" I ask quietly.

"Only person I trust to get you where you need to be. We will figure it out." She nods in certainty.

"Then I'm going to rest my eyes a little bit. Wake me when we get there?" I ask.

"Yeah." 

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