The Butterfly Effect

Chapter Eleven - Knocking on Heaven's Door

Rain does not always mean sadness. Often, they say, rain symbolizes rebirth. If that was the case, Emily believed a higher power had just breathed life into her. She gasped a deep breath when she awoke. The heart monitor gave me away by the unruly beating. Nurses rushed into Emily's room, and seeing that she was finally awake, took her vitals. Emily didn't try to fight them. She was too tired to force her muscles into moving. She slowly slipped back into a world of sleep. But that time, Emily knew she would awake.

Emily woke up much calmer the next time. Her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the light. She stared dumbly at every inch of the room that she could see. Emily was trying to make sense of where she was. Nothing seemed to click. Emily didn't want to leave her bed though, she was too weak for that. A strange calm blurred with confusion replaced any feeling of panic.

"Emily!" Someone gasped.

She followed the voice and found her mother and father sitting beside the bed.

Emily's mom leaped up and hugged her, sobbing. Her father tugged her away. "She needs to breath, Charlotte."

"Oh, God!" Her mom choked out. "Don't you ever do this to us again! You understand?"

She winced at her mother's high volume, but nodded. Emily had no memory at what was happening. Since her dad was the only sensible one in the room, Emily asked him.

"Dad... what's going on?"

Now it was his turn to be confused. He leaned in. "What do you mean, Honey?"

"Why am I in the hospital?"

Her mother ceased crying.

The both looked frozen.

"You... don't remember?" Her dad asked.

Emily tried to swallow, but her mouth was made of cotton. "No... should I?"

"You overdosed on your sleeping pills."

And like the snap of a rubber band, the memories hit her all at once. Emily's head began to pound as her experience in the afterlife flew by: Megan's bulimia, Jason's death, Megan's baby, Nevaeh, Harper's death, Emily's funeral, and so on.

Emily's parents noticed her distress as her heart rate skyrocketed on the monitor. Her father called in a nurse who administered morphine. Emily heard something about relapsing. A kiss on her forehead was the last thing she felt before she started to black out.

"Get some rest." Her dad whispered.

Emily felt his presence leave.

Three days passed in the hospital. Those days were dedicated to assuring the doctors Emily had her memory and convincing her parents that she was no longer suicidal. Despite her attempts, Emily's doctor recommended a rehab center for a couple months, and then therapy sessions twice a week. If it made Emily's parents happy, she intended to do it. Besides, she had been pretty cryptic when they challenged her mental sanity while she was recovering. After all Emily had experienced she felt like a completely different person. Emily could have passed for a philosopher if the situation had been different.

Then, there was Megan. She knocked on the door-frame before entering. "Hey." She sat on the chair rather than the bed.

"Megan..." Emily whispered. "I know about Nevaeh."

She didn't remember how long the silence stretched on, but when it ended, Megan burst into tears and held her. Emily had never felt closer to Megan, and because of that, she cried with her. Emily had her sister back.

On the fourth day, Jason had visited. He came in with a bundle of Get-Well-Soon balloons and a large teddy bear holding a red heart. This time, Emily was able to wipe away real tears.

"I don't understand."

Jason nodded and set the balloons in the corner of the room. He brought the bear to Emily.

"Emily... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. When I heard what happened I couldn't stop thinking it was my fault."

Emily already knew as much, but she wanted to hear it from him. "Why would you think that?"

"I wasn't there for you. God, I should have tried harder. I should fought for you, Ems. I didn't and I'm so sorry. I know you hate me, but you have to know I'm sorry."

It took a few seconds before Emily found her voice. "I don't hate you."

His head snapped up. Disbelief was clear on his face. "How can you not after I turned my back on you all those years ago?"

"Because you stayed my friend... I knew it when you told me to 'Eat.'"

Jason's eyes widened a bit. "You knew that was me?"

"Yeah," Emily smiled. "But I didn't figure it out until recently."

"I should have done better, Ems."

Emily held her arms out. "You can start by giving me hug."

Jason half smiled and gave her a warm embrace. He was like the brother she never had.

"I swear to you, when we find the person who uploaded that video I'll make him pay."

"Forget about the video." Emily pulled away. "It's over, and I'm not going to let it define me."

For the first time in years, Emily had hope for her future.

Hope.

She never lost that again.