The New York Assignment

Five

Days past in a blur for Clint, and at a snail's pace for Natasha. They stayed home, mostly, cooking and watching movies and reading the paper like normal people. Clint was content. Natasha was restless.

Every time her cell phone went off, Natasha jumped. She anxiously waited for news from the Captain or Fury. The days dragged on with no word from either. Her objective became increasingly difficult. Twice she felt sure Clint had found out. She hated keeping this a secret from him, even though she knew the alternative could ruin him. Thankfully, he remained blissfully ignorant.

A week into this endeavor, she sat cross-legged on her couch, a book in her hands. She felt more than hard Clint renter the room.

"What do you want for dinner?" she asked without looking up.

There was silence for a moment before Clint said, in a voice so low she barely heard it, "Why am I here?"

Confused, Natasha replied, "Why do you ask that? I thought it was pretty clear." She turned the page.

The sound of papers landing on the coffee table made her look up. "Clint, what are you talking..." She trailed off, her eyes scanning the messy stack of files strewn across the surface of the table in front of her. The one on top held the papers detailing the recent murders that Clint was suspected in. She drew in a breath and looked at her partner. "Where did you get those?"

"Does it matter?" His eyes flashed dangerously. "Tell me what you've been keeping from me. Now."

Natasha remained sitting. She kept her panic and worry from showing in her expression, seeming to be perfectly calm. "Those files were from years ago," she lied. She took a gamble, praying that Clint hadn't looked through them thoroughly. "I kept them as a reference for-"

"Stop lying to me!" Clint snapped. "That file was from a week ago. Why do you have it? Why did you hide that from me?"

The anger and hurt in his eyes was unsettling. It was the look of a man who'd been betrayed, and the worst part was, Natasha knew this was coming. She had to calm him down.

The next words out of her mouth were automatic. She didn't even realize she'd spoken until she'd finished. "I wanted to protect you." She was telling him exactly what she thought he wanted to hear, regardless of the validity of the statement. She'd done it for long that it was second nature. And a big mistake.

Clint's jaw tightened. "Cut the crap, Romanoff!" His use of her last name stung. "The next words to come out of your mouth better be the absolute, unbridled truth, or so help me God-"

"Director Fury told me to keep an eye on you!" The fear of losing him was what pulled the truth out of her. But the look on his face made her remember just why she'd lied before.

Her answer struck Clint like a blow. He repeated the words in his head. That haunting voice began whispering in his ear again. "I told you, Barton. What would a woman like her want with a man like you? How could she love you after what you've done? She's betrayed your trust. This is proof of her-"

"SHUT UP!" Clint took a step back, covering his ears with his hands. He couldn't take that voice, not on top of all this. Natasha stood up, and was looking at him with concern he could only assume was false. Panting slightly, he rounded on her. "So it's all been a lie!? Moving in together, pretending to want a life with me, doing all the stuff good, normal people do! All of it! I trusted you!"

Natasha swallowed hard. He wasn't completely right, but he wouldn't listen to her.

Clint's thoughts turned to the file he'd read, the people that were killed. That he might have killed. That was why he was there. Fury wanted to have eyes on him in case he turned. And Natasha...

"What were you going to do? If it was me, if I killed those people...! What did Fury tell you to do? Arrest me? Kill me?"

"Clint, I-"

"TELL ME!"

Natasha took a step back. She watched him for a long moment. Finally, she swallowed, took a deep breath, and said, "My orders were to stop you however I had to."

Clint let out a disbelieving laugh. "I thought... you were different. I thought we were partners! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!"

"Clint, I do-"

"I waited! Years, I waited for you! I spared your life! I risked everything - EVERYTHING - for you! I would've given anything for you. My reputation, my job, my life! Natasha... I loved you!"

The past tense broke her heart. She reached out to him. "Clint, you have to believe me-"

"Why should I!? Has this all been a lie!? Have you ever told me a grain of truth!? Have I just been an obstacle to you, a mission!?"

"No!" She was desperate. If he left, there was no telling what he'd do, or what SHIELD would do to him.

Something passed over Clint's face; the pain and betrayal was replaced by a hardness that only a soldier could adopt. He reached behind him and took out the gun he'd stuffed in his belt. For a moment, Natasha was afraid he was going to shoot himself. But he tossed the gun to her. She caught it instinctively.

"Do it," he said, voice barely a whisper.

"Don't be stupid! I'm not going to-"

"It's your mission, right? Well, congratulations, Agent Romanoff. I killed those people. I can't shake Loki. I'm a monster. So do it."

To her shame, she raised the gun. She didn't believe him. It couldn't be him. And how would he know? Her body shook, but her hands were still. For a whole minute they looked into each other's eyes. Hers were glistening with unshed tears, fear and sadness fighting for dominance. His revealed nothing but guilt and betrayal, not a hint of the love Natasha had grown accustomed to seeing.

Finally, she threw the gun aside. "I'm not going to shoot you."

Clint closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Fine." He walked to the door and shouldered his quiver. "Don't wait up."

"You're not going anywhere!"

"If you try to stop me, Romanoff, I will taze you." He grabbed his bow and opened the door. He took a step and faltered, then stopped. Looking down, refusing to look at the woman he loved, the woman who lied to him, he said, "Don't come after me, Tasha." He stepped out and slammed the door behind him.

Natasha stood staring at the door. The best thing that had ever happened to her was now a wanted man. She knew what it was like being on the run from SHIELD. There was no place to go, no one to trust. They would find him, and they would kill him. SHIELD didn't tolerate rouge agents.

She pulled out her phone. Fury had to know, regardless of how much she loved Clint, how much she trusted him, Fury had to know he was gone. She dialed his number, and listened to it ring.

His deep voice answered, "Romanoff?"

She thought of Clint's words to her after he'd spared her life. "I'm taking a chance. Don't make me regret it." How could she betray him? At the very least, she owed him a debt. She made up her mind. "Sir, no update on Clint. He's perfectly normal."

There was a long pause. "Good. Keep an eye on him, Romanoff. Just in case."

"Yes, Sir." She hung up. After a moment's hesitation, she made another call.

It rang six times before an arrogant voice answered. "Agent Romanoff. What can I do for you?"

She took a deep breath. "Tony, I need a favor."