Love Me Day Or Night - Book 1 -

Life's Curve Ball

~~Life's Curve Ball~~

The serene smile that was pasted over my mother's face right at the moment was not something I had seen most of the days. She always either gave us the mischievous smile, or just simply forced a smile to others. Most of the days, it was either the frown lines or the worries that marred her face, and made them crease. I, of all the others who saw her every day, noticed that the black shadow under her eyes were not because of the spectacles that she wore from her childhood. They had become permanent and her skin had been becoming blotchy.

Funny to think that today, when I felt like crying she was happy. Her smile was genuine as it could ever get. She was a woman who in spite of having lavish thoughts and cravings disowned all of them and led a simple life with small things she craved for. Like my chocolate ice-cream. Fancy how most people say, for the children's happiness a mother could give up on anything, while it was me at my home who always gave it up for my mom. Not that I regretted any of it.

"I'll see you later." I smiled at her, and walked away. She yelled a 'take care' from inside, while I waved back at her, and gave her a small nod before walking out.

Seven years.

It had been seven years since I lost the only person I could have called my girl best friend to death. It was her anniversary today. Most days, I would look down at our memories from school days and the initial year at college, when we had been in separate colleges, and yet nothing had changed between us. We still met every next day, and talked about everything. You name it, we did it. Not things that included wasting money since I was a really tight pocket person, but we did buy small jewelry and nail polishes. It was our favorite pastime.

Her death was a huge blow to me. I should have died too, in that accident. But it had to be her. It had to be her, smashed by the truck, so that her flesh was raw, and bloody bones could be seen. It had to be her wheezing out my name, as she slowly lost the power to breathe or look at me anymore. I could barely see her through the blood. I could barely hold her hand, which had been intertwined weakly around her fingers. It had to be me, who saw her eyes rolled at the back, telling me something which I still can't understand. All I remember was the blood pool in which we were lying on as help arrived. I remembered looking at her lips, as they moved to tell me something.

I remembered her raw flesh of the left hand, which had made her bleed to death. I remembered the deep crack on her forehead, which had made her face bloody. She had been admitted to the hospital, but in two days, she'd seeped into coma due to her severe injuries and given up. While I was left alive, for god knows what reason with broken limbs and bones, and severe injuries. The injuries were not only physical but mental as well.

Till today, I have nightmares. Of how the accident could have been worse, or how I could have saved her. But the guilt ate me up alive. It took me two years, and several therapies to overcome the situation. It took the sixth therapist to finally understand what I needed.

As I sat down into one of the benches of the neighboring parks, my thoughts went back to when we used to pass this place and buy the ice-cream from the vendor while coming back from school. The bus left us at the joint of the road, before we walked up and bought the ice-creams or sometimes ice lollies, and giggled our way back to home.

A sad smile spread through my face. The grievance of her death was still there, and I was still trying to accept the fact that the person I'd known for seventeen years of my life had died before my own eyes. It was hard, and the horror never left me. It never left me, but it subsided and took a better seat. I had calmed myself down and understood that living was more than just surviving. When we have demons that eat us from within ourselves, it was hard to live through. Surviving the day and then the night was the only option left because we never see past them.