Used and Invisible

Chapter 5

I arrive home and no one is there. There is a note on the fridge from my parents.

Grace,

We've decided to start our date early. Emily is going to Jake's straight after school. There are leftovers over in the fridge. We will try to be back by 11. We love you. Hope you had a wonderful day.

Love,

Mom and Dad

Well, it seems like I will be by myself for long time. I had a little less than two hours to kill before Haley came to take me to the library. I decided to try to take my mind off things by watching Elementary. I was up to the season three finale. I finished the episode and was also able to watch the first episode of season four.  By that time it was 4:30 and Haley had texted saying she was on her way over. I changed into black leggings before I left because they are way more comfortable than jeans. 

A honk outside let me know that Haley was here. I climbed in and greeted my best friend.

"Grace, I thought you were going to the library to meet someone. So, why do you have a stack of books?" 

"Hello to you too. Well, they are due tomorrow and I thought I would kill two birds with one stone."

"You are such a nerd." she scoffed.

"But you love me."

"No, I can't love a nerd." I gasp loudly.

"What! Since when did you not love yourself? You're the biggest nerd I know!" I tease.

"I'm a closet nerd. You flaunt it."

"I do NOT flaunt."

"Says the girl with a stack of books"

"Touché"

We arrive at the library and I put my books in the return bin. It was already 5 o'clock.

"I'll be waiting by the young adult section when you're ready to go," Haley says as she walks away.

"Okay, it should be quick." 

I then start to search around the library to find Owen. I finally found him in the far corner by the magazines. I realize he chose this place because no one comes to check out magazines anymore. This is the least likely place to be interrupted.

"Hey," I say as I sit down.

"Hi." We sit there awkwardly before I speak up again. Owen seems very nervous. He is always glancing around to see if anyone else is there listening.

"So, umm, what did you want to talk about?"

"Yeah, right. So you know the other night when I acted rude towards you?"

"Yep, it was only two nights ago Owen."

"Well if you're going to act that way you should just leave."

"Look I came because I want to help. You can trust me." He looks at me fo a moment before nodding. He looks around one last time before continuing.

"Well I acted that way because I thought no one cared and you were putting on a face. I thought you were going to pretend to be my friend. I'm sorry I pushed you away. You really did care. I know because when I asked for space you gave it to me."

"That is what friends are for, to be there for you."

"I know. But what I'm about to tell you, you can't tell anyone. Not your parents. Not your sister. Not Haley."

"Okay, I understand. I won't tell a single soul. What's going on?"

"Two nights ago I, I was....."

"You were what?"

"I was going to leave forever." My face contorted in thought. It slowly dawned on me. Suicide?! Was he really that far gone? He always seemed so happy when I talked to him. Then again, we had grown apart the past year. 

"Do you really mean you were going to commit suicide?!"

"Shh! Don't say that word! But yes. I uh, wanted to tell you because in a way you saved me." I put my hand on his arm trying to comfort my obviously depressed friend.

"I saved you? How?"

"I was about to do the deed when you texted. Even though I pushed you away, I could tell that you cared. I was only got the final push to do it because I really thought no one cared. I couldn't do when I knew at least one person cared."

"Oh my gosh. I didn't even know you felt like that. I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone. From this point on, I will be here for you. I promise you."

"Thanks, I should go. That's all I had to say."

"Ok. Are you sure you're ok? Do you want some company?"

"No, I'll be fine. I'll text you if I need you."

"Okay" 

I smile at him as he walks away. I've heard stories of people who have committed suicide. I just never thought I would find myself in the midst of one. My friends always seemed so happy. The promise I made to Owen, I intend to keep even if I loose friends because of it. No one ever deserves to be alone.

I just hope he keeps his word and talks to me when he needs to get things off his chest.