Rise

Chapter 27

While my mother was blabbering about the weather and the new Walmart in my home town, I decided to put my earphones in and play music.

I try my best not to laugh since she has no idea I'm not hearing a single word of what she's saying.

The downside to this is when they get back I wont hear the door opening or their feet padding on the carpet as they enter the main room.

This thought has been coursing through my head all day.

Do I really love Harry?

I mean, I know I love Harry.

I'm not sure if I can admit my feelings about him.

I've loved him for years, even through the rumors. Through the fights, the laughs, the relentless bullshit.

I can feel my affection towards him in the way my heart picks up the pace and the heaviness in my chest, but is that even love?

I don't want to know, but I do.

Does Harry even love me? Maybe I'm just a good kisser- fuck.

I really hate myself for thinking these things, I know Harry likes me.

Loves me.

I don't know.

I hate being on both sides in this, maybe he loves me and maybe I love him but this fucking number called one week decides to slash through my feelings.

We've dated for over one week but I've loved him longer than that.

If I hated him I wouldn't have let him near me in his bedroom last week.

One week. One is just a number. A number for how long I've had the girlfriend name-tag on.

One is a number. A number for the amount of weeks Harry has had his boyfriend tag on.

Maybe that's all it is.

I always let the numbers and normality of stuff get in the way of what I want.

Of what I know and what I need.

I'm always used to people taking relationships slow and losing virginity on wedding night.

But this is real life and it's odd how different that is.

It's 2013, being a virgin is rare.

I wish I could just push out the thoughts of everyone else and my morals so I can love Harry.

I have my mind made up.

I love Harry and I don't care how long we've been dating and if people think that's gross and stupid they can fuck themselves. End.

When is Harry getting back I swear I've looked at the time about ten times in the past five minutes.

Time is going by so much slower than I want it to.

I scream when someone taps my shoulder, I yank out my earphones and look behind me to see Harry who's laughing.

I look over at my mother and I can tell shes forcing a smile.

She's wanted Harry and I to date before, I have no idea why she's being so weird about it now.

I ignore that and follow Harry into his room.

I've spent too much time here and I don't think I brought enough clothes to last me a few more days.

I need to go back to my apartment as soon as our families leave, even though I want to be with Harry I need to leave at some point.

Maybe he could come stay at my apartment for a few days and we could switch off, it's tiring but I know it's worth it.