Behind Closed Doors (Tibette)

Season 2: Confession

Laurel's p.o.v

Another week had passed since we started filming season 2 and shooting scenes with Jen became increasingly awkward. Some days I enjoy her company, even though she never speaks directly to me. Other days looking at her becomes unbearing and I have to fight the will to break down in front of her.

Jennifer's p.o.v

I could see how intentionally ignoring Laurel was hurting her. I didn't want to see her sad. All I want is for her to diminish what ever it is she feels for me. It wasn't in my agenda to complicate our "friendship", but I saw no other option.

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*Following day on set*

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Laurel's p.o.v

Last night I was up all night thinking about how I would approach Jen. I was over her ignoring me. I was over being excluded from conversations. I decided I would tell Jen. Yes, tell her how in love I am with her.

I saw Jen talking to a few cast members and decided to approach them.

"Jen. Can we talk," I said to her with a tremble in my voice.

"Now's not a good time, sorry," She replied in such a harsh tone.

Keep in mind that this was all happening in front of all the other cast members. My ego was bruised enough. No was not an option for her.

"Jen. I know you're extremely busy talking about your life outside of filming, but I said that I needed to talk to you right now, so can you be a decent human being, something you've been lacking for the past month, and follow me to my trailer so we could talk in private please," I said with aggravation.

Jen looked over at Kate and Leisha in disbelief, but I stared at her with firmness.

"Ok, sure, but I only have a few minutes, let's go," Jen replied.

Jennifer's p.o.v

This was it.

This was it.

My heart was expanding as much as it could. My lungs were trying to suck in all the air it could get. My feet were trying to dig a hole into the ground to prevent me from walking any further.

She's going to tell me. She's going to tell me. She's going to tell me...

We entered Laurel's trailer. I walked in behind her. She then touched my hand in the softest way possible and closed the door and layed her head on it, one hand grasping the lock, another still touching my hand. I thought she would faint from how pale she turned. Then as the color in her face began to surface again, she turned around slowly and opened her mouth, but no words came out.

"Look...
...Jen
...I
...Um
...Ok...

I stopped her right there.

"What is it that you want from me?" I said abruptly.

"You think I don't know what you're going to say do you? Well guess what, you couldn't be more readable. I know. I know that you like me. I know that was the reason you broke down and told me to leave. I left because I couldn't wrap my head around it. We were such great friends and you ruined it. I don't understand, why? Now you drag me in here, completely falling apart, to tell me how you feel, right? What did you think was going to happen when you told me? That I would just..."

Laurel's p.o.v

My entire being was shattered in that moment. I felt my soul, full of love and hope, leave my body.

I became defensive.

"Woah...Woah...Woah...What the hell are you fucking talking about? Are you fucking crazy? In what kind of fucked up parallel universal are you living in that you would believe I like you? You are insane. I thought the reason you decided not to talk to me was because you didn't want to get mixed up in the drama between my husband and I. That was the reason I broke down. That was the reason I told you to leave." I said to her,
making up lies as I went along.

"Then why did I catch you staring into the mirror in your bathroom while I was naked? You blanked out and after that I caught you in tears," Jen replied.

"In my bathroom, above the mirror, there's a photo of my husband and I. Looking at it reminded me of how damaged our relationship was. When we went to dinner that day I told you how as long as we could love our child together, we would survive. Seeing that picture was just a wake up call for me. I couldn't stay married to a guy who I no longer loved. I went into my room and started crying because I knew I would have to tell him and it broke my heart. Not because I like you, not because I want to be with you." I finished, on the verge of tears.

I recalled myself telling my husband, who I was now working on getting a divorce from, that I no longer wanted to be with him. This was in fact the only truth. I could no longer see myself with him when the woman I loved was in my life.

It hurt to tell Jen such lies, but hearing her say such harsh words brought it out of me. I came in this trailer wanting to be relieved of the pain I felt from holding back how much I loved her. I came here believing that if I told her I could move on, possibly with her by my side, and if not then as friends again.

"Well, I...I don't know what to say. I'm humiliated. I guess I got ahead of myself. This whole time I believed one thing, but in reality you were hurting and I just assumed it was about me. I'm..I'm so sorry. I don't know how to begin to show that I'm sorry. I can't believe I was so stupid...wow this is... I'm sorry." Jennifer responded.

Jennifer's p.o.v

I am an idiot. A complete and utter idiot. What was I even thinking. Of course she doesn't like me. Why would she? All I want to do is erase these past months. I can't even look
her in the face. She must think I'm crazy. Why couldn't I have just asked her instead of assuming and building up this delusion in my head.

"Look, Jen, I miss you regardless of what just happened. All I want is for us to go back to the way we were. Can we just forget any of this happened and move on?" I begged Jen.

Wow. Laurel is amazing. She's willing to put everything aside and move on.

"Yes, please. Again, I'm so sorry," Jen looked at me with sad eyes.

"It's already forgotten." I said.