Behind Closed Doors (Tibette)

Chapter 3

Jennifer's P.O.V

I've been pacing the outside of my home for the past five minutes, hesitant to walk in. I feared my husband would begin to question me.

I decided to suck it up.

As I entered, I saw him sitting on the kitchen chair with a laptop. I waited for a response in anticipation, but it's as if I wasn't there at all.

"Sweetie I'm home." I said

All I got was a mumble.

"Did you get my message?" I asked.

He slowly closed his laptop, pierced his head in my direction,
"the one where you said you stayed at Laurel all night? Yes, yes I did." He replied in a his usual condescending tone.

"I meant to call, but it got in late and I figured...." I paused.

"You always just figure don't you." He murmured under his breath.

"Are you mad?"

"No. I'm not mad at all. How could I possibly be mad? I rarely get to see you. You're constantly working and when I do get to see you, you stay locked up in your office doing god knows what!" He yelled, causing me to shiver.

"You know how demanding my job is!" I spoke out.

"What about me? When are we ever going to get back to where we used to be?" His tone going from furious to desperation.

"...well someone has to pay the bills." I muttered under my breath with instant regret.

"Bills? BILLS! I knew it. I just knew you resented me. I could see it in the way you look at me as if I'm worthless. You said you were alright with me not having a job. That you supported my career change."

"That was four years ago! And all you've done is take photos of places you vacation, while I'm here busting my ass trying to make a living for both of us! You don't think it's hard? All of the burden being placed on me? When you said you were unhappy with your life and wanted time to rethink your choices, I didn't think it would take several years. You would think at the bare minimum help around the house, show me you actually care for me, us, and the life we've built together. That maybe I could use some emotional support from time to time. I'm...I'm exhausted. I don't know if I can do this anymore." I let out the final breath I had.

"What are you saying?" His facial expression falling flat.

"I...I don't know. Maybe we've just worn out. It's not working with us. I don't feel good. When I think of you and me I don't see us moving forward. We've been stuck in this same cycle, clinging on to a past happiness we will never see again. I just...I think I need some time...we need some time apart." I said, not knowing what the consequences of these statements would result in, but understanding in that moment that I had to choose myself.

A part of be felt broken, but the other part of me felt a sense of relief. I had never had the courage to say how I felt. To speak out. Not until Laurel.

I thought about my night with her. How it was the most loved I felt in years. I didn't question whether or not the person I was sharing my body with wanted me or was staying with me out of familial obligations.

Several moments of silence passed by. I don't think he expected this to be the outcome of our conversation. I had been the one to shove my pride down and silence myself all these year, but not anymore.

I turned and left the living room, heading towards my bedroom. Butterflies filled my stomach as I thought of what I had just done and how I was needed to tell Laurel. I just wanted to be with her right now.

I dialed Laurel.

"Hello." I heard on the first ring

I took a deep breath in

"Laurel, I told him." My heart beating uncontrollably.

Laurel's P.O.V

I felt sick as she told me about her talk with her husband.

What did this mean? I said to myself as I imagined what would happen next.

"Laurel? You there."

I hadn't realized I had been lost in my thoughts.

"Ya. Yeah. Yes. I..I'm here." I wasn't fully.

"What are you thinking?" She asked

I had no idea how to translate my thoughts into words, or if I even should.

This felt like a terrible plot to every lesbian movie about a straight woman who falls in love with another woman.

But it also felt as though the universe was giving us the opportunity to actually be together.

I gave no further thought and spoke with my heart.

"I've loved you from the moment I met you. You were this forceful nature with the sweetest, most caring soul I've ever seen. This morning when I woke up and I saw you were no longer beside me...I felt empty. I wanted you there. I wanted to see your beautiful smile. I wanted to kiss you again, and again, and..." I took a moment to pause and really think about whether or not I should say this.

"... I can't see myself with anybody else but you. As of now. As of the future. You're who I want to be with. You're who I want to wake up to every morning. I love you. I think we can do this." I sniffled as tears began to fall heavily down my face.

We began to cry in unison, completely overwhelmed with emotion.

"I don't know what it is, but I just feel it...I'm meant to be with you." I expressed with genuineness.

"Laurel." She cut in.

I suddenly realized everything I had said.

"Laurel...I love you too and I would do anything to have what we had last night, forever." She replied

I felt my chest sink in.

It's really happening.

Jennifer and I.

Are we going to do this?