open letters to no one

best friend

ive been screaming between the lines of my journal for ages.
i still have entries from eight year old me saying
"i wish someone would listen".
everyone gets lonely
and i know the river of words ive never said aloud
is nothing new.
but i shiver when i think
of how i never realized i was drowning in it
until you sat on the shore
with a bucket
and a heart that was listening.
every drop you drained
(every word, every verb, every letter)
felt like air to my suffocating lungs.
it'll never be enough
and ill always be gasping for air one way or another
but im learning to breathe anyway
and when tears wont stop dripping down my face
i try to remember that its simply another faucet
to the ocean splashing against my skin
and swirling around my bones.
ive always known that i have to change myself
i just didnt have hope that i could do it
but now im trying
and everyday is a little bit happier
even if i dont realize it until the next morning.
maybe none of this makes any sense
and maybe thats fitting
but all im trying to say is that you helped
and my head doesnt feel quite so heavy for my body so thanks for bailing me out when no one else cared to try.