Stealing Perfection

Chapter 15

When my eyes open, the light that was shining is blocked by a face. I attempt to focus on it, but I fail.

"Hello, Nixon." It takes a second for me to realize that it is Ren. I force my eyes to lock on to him, and he is looking at me curiously. I don't answer. His lips begin to move. 

I know he is talking, but his words go in one ear and out the other. I struggle to concentrate on them, and when I blink my eyes he still staring at me, waiting for my response. 

"How are you?" I hear, and continue to watch him.

Does he want me to answer him? 

If he is expecting an answer, he isn't getting one. 

Why don't I answer him though?

He doesn't deserve an answer. 

Why not? What has he done to me?

You are his little experiment, Nixon. 

Am I? 

Did he drug me? 

I think he did. 

His lips form other words, but I don't think I can use enough of my energy to hear what he is saying, so I don't. 

Some time passes that I don't remember, and I focus my eyes back in front of me to see the light. People are standing around the bed, and I notice that Ren is there, among the faces I can't seem to adjust my eyes on. 

"Whats happening?" One of them asks. 

"She is trying to concentrate on everything around her, and the words of our conversation, but her mind is fighting it." Ren says, and I fix my eyes on him. My head cocks to the side, and I try to lift my ear towards them, to hear what they are saying. It doesn't work. 

"She has definitely developed a case of Schizophrenia. Her actions, and unresponsiveness to our words and movements all show that she is not comprehending what we are doing."

"But why is she staring at you like that?"

"Her brain is active enough to process that we are talking, but two sides of her thoughts are quarreling with each other. One side is telling her to shut herself down, and forcing her brain to ignore us. The other side is fighting against it. Right now, she is listening to us, but not understanding what we're saying." Ren explains. 

Should I ask them what they are talking about?

Yes.

"What are you talking about?" I mumble, my lips feeling numb with heaviness. I look to the person standing next to Ren, and I decide that it is Kat. 

"Look who's found her voice." Kat says, and I blink several times before answering her back. 

"They're telling me that it's okay, that it's normal." I turn back to Ren. "This isn't normal, is it?" 

"No, Nixon. This isn't normal." 

"My head feels fuzzy."

"What else do you feel is wrong?" He asks.

Don't answer. 

Why?

Don't answer. 

"She says not to answer." I tell him, and I feel my brows furrow together. "Why can't I answer?" My heart begins to thump against my chest, and my eyes lower to my hands sitting folded in my lap. "Tell me what's happening." 

"Nixon, there is a part of you that doesn't want to answer, and there is another part of you that is fighting against that. Pull through."

Don't answer.