Yet Another Homeside

Where I Stand

"I think the easiest way to put this, is that I want to murder everyone." I say to my psychiatrist, Dr D. I stare at the spotless tiled white ceiling.

"Do you have any idea why?" She asked.

No emotion on her part... As if she's heard this all before. Yet no matter how dramatic I make I'd sound, I'm nearly certain she thinks there's something sinister about me...

Almost as if she thinks I'm sane...

But the thing is, I don't know why I want to do this. I have my theories of course... After all, my very own father loved watching this TV show about airplane crashes. Us humans are still animals in one way or another...

aren't we?

It strikes me as odd, for every psychiatrist I've seen about this problem, has shown no emotion when I say things like "murder everyone". Can they not take me seriously? Is that last statement true because I'm only 15 years old? Or maybe because I've only slaughtered 6 people thus far? Well. Whatever...

losers can't be choosers, my dad told me once. That saying isn't used very often in this context, but hey. What's stopping me?

"I... I... Don't know..." I shyly reply to the question I've heard easily hundreds of times. I don't like to talk about how or why I'm "special", so when I'm uncomfortable or upset, I have a tendency to stutter. I don't know why; but that happens...

Did I forget to mention, I live in isolation? No joke! I've been LIVING HERE for the last 4 years! And before you go thinking "OH MY GOD! HE LIVES IN A WHITE, PADDED ROOM, CHAINED TO THE FLOOR AND GIVES BLOOD SAMPLES TWICE A DAY!!" No, it's not like that, I simply live in a 3 room isolated chamber.no doors in, or out. the place is also 100% soundproof, and maid with mostly with one-way glass, so they can study the "psyco" in it's not so natural habitat...

(And I take samples once a month, thank you very much!)

Oh, also...

I live under six cameras. One 3 in the main room. The main room is the biggest room of the few. That room has a table, 2 chairs (all of which are immobilized, and screwed into the floor),and a sofa. The second chair is kinda a spit to my face though, because I live alone, which really sucks sometimes. But I do want to kill people so I kinda had that coming for me going in to this situation...

food comes thought the centre of the table, beneath a trap door located at the centre of the table, what comes up, never comes back down, because when I eat, I eat A LOT! (For reasons you'll find out later!)

2 cameras in my room, my room has a queen sized bed, and a computer, which I spend most of my time on, doing online school learning. I can't just live here! I need to get out at some point in my life, so I need to be educated, so I can survive.

Last but certainly not least, 1 camera in the bathroom. (At this point, I really have no words, everything is so revealed. I have NO privacy, the cameras see everything, just like the "one way wall".)

I may be a psycho, but I still clean up after myself, the 3 rooms, And bathe.

I'm not a complete animal...

I clean for 2 hours on Sundays, then go back to my school work, I'm a B+ average, which is just that.

Average.

I don't have online friends. (Mainly because I'm not allowed to have Any...) In fact, my only contact is Dr. D, which is only for emergencies.

When I first got here, there were actually, 4 rooms. I remember nothing about the 4th room, I only know it exists because its boarded off with dozens of 2 x 4s that still block that room to this day