Artifice

Regrets

A week later.

Eva's POV

"Do you have work tonight?" Lizzy's voice was timid at the door.

"No." I replied.

It was 6 in the afternoon, I finished up my first week back at school and had nothing to do tonight.

"How does going to the movies sound? A few of us are going to go watch this new scary movie Niall has been dying to see."

"I think I'll stay in tonight."

Liz was gone minutes later, she's been by my side this entire week and I just wanted her to get out and have fun.

I was fine with staying home alone, I had an assignment that was due next week and it wouldn't hurt to get it done early.

The entire apartment was silent, besides the faint noise of cars outside.

My fingers smoothly dragged across the sides of my phone. I haven't received one text or call from Harry since the last time I've seen him. The journal he put into my hands was laid on my desk, taunting me. I haven't opened it, not once, too afraid of what was inside it.

I was in a state of grief, mornings felt worse than ever and getting through the day seemed impossible sometimes. Besides going to school, I barely moved from my bed. Liz has settled to bringing me food from time to time since she thought I was purposively starving myself.

I strayed away from mirrors knowing I'd look terrible. Sleep became a rare occurrence and my ambition to make myself presentable was almost completely gone.

My eyes couldn't stop moving over to where the journal was. I've managed to stay away from it for this long by telling myself, reading it was no use but my curiosity was eating way through my brain.

I tiptoed on the cold floor to my desk, picking up the brown book and moving back to my bed.

It was placed before me on the white duvet, I treated it like some dark object that could easily bite me.

I sucked up the little mental stability I had left and picked it up.

-

Coffee and A Hangover

His writing became more formal as I kept reading.

I couldn't bare lie to her about who I was. I avoided any thought of her for a week, it was odd lying to someone as nice as her even though I didn't know her fully.

He described what he did that week after we first met. Reading, I found out that he was indeed still in uni and had a part time job at a publishing firm. He talked about his father briefly, going on about the tension between the two of them.

I didn't want her.

She mistook our time tonight as a date and I freaked. The words that came out of my mouth reflected the same boy that was selfish enough to do all of this for a book.

The peculiar thing was that I enjoyed the night we spent together.

By now I was immune to what was being said inside the journal. He explained how he didn't even find any interest in me, that he simply needed to do what he was doing for some reason I couldn't fully get through my head. The entire night we spent ice skating was there in ink, perfectly detailed but all in his perspective.