Better Off Alright

An Unexpected Confession

"Olive, I need you to close the bakery tonight." My mother's usually gentle voice is pierced with an edge and, even though I'm talking to her over the phone, I get the sense she's having yet another bad day.

I sigh, wishing I could help her out and take the brunt of my dad's force, but I can't. Not today. Today is the day Macey comes home. Not to mention Levi wants to go out on a date and I can't stand him up for the bakery. Again.

"Sorry, Mama – I just can't. I have to meet Macey and her beau at the aiport."

My mother also sighs, though hers is deeper and much more worn down. I imagine it's how I'll sound in twenty years. "That's okay, dear. I'll be fine."

I clench my fist, looking at the wall of my bedroom, focusing on a small crack in the paint. I feel as if I myself am about to crack – the urge to kill my father for his brutality taking me one step closer to insanity. When I speak again, my voice is pained, "Sorry, Mom. Is it really bad today?"

I hear a tremble in her voice as she answers, false hope lining her words, "No, not really. A customer canceled a large order today and... Well, I happened to be the one who was around at the time he received the news."

"Sorry, I wish I could change things, but I really have to go. Macey will be at the airport soon."

I say goodbye and then we hang up. Each day that's passed since graduation has been a living hell. The only moments that haven't been filled with parents arguing or my father's anger have been with with my friends or Levi. Those few moments are my only escape from the torture.

Levi Jaymes, the silver lining to my perpetually cloudy day.

Every time I am with him is like a breath of fresh air; it's as if I can feel the tiniest scrap of hope that I might just have a shot at true love, or at least love. Gemma found true love with Larkin and now Macey has Jack. But I have Levi and he's truly the best thing that could have happened to me this summer.

I hastily grab my phone and keys before leaving the small house and driving away in the small little beat up car that I bought just last week. It took three years of saving money to finally buy it, but it's mine and I love it. I love the freedom that comes with it, no restraints holding me to this shit-filled town.

Driving to the airport, I can't help but think of the last time, when I came home from dropping off Gemma and Larkin. I was with Clive, Gemma's twin brother at the time, and everything was ordinary, fine, but then he stopped the jeep in front of my house and things became... slightly off.

The jeep's radio blared music as we made our way home. I didn't let my mind focus on the fact that my two best friends were flying away at that very moment. Instead I focused on the way Clive hummed along to the bass of the music; how the wind was knotting my hair; how I had a million reasons to be okay, to be happy.

Suddenly, the jeep was silent and I looked out to see that we had arrived at my house. Clive had turned off the radio and he was looking at me, his eyes the same as Gemma's: dark and unending in kindness.

He blinked once, his fingers twitching on the gear shift as he watched me. He swallowed one before saying, "I need to tell you something – before I leave for my training... Otherwise... Otherwise, I'll regret this moment and every moment that passes."

I swallowed, my lips suddenly dry in the humid summer air. "Okay..?"I said slowly. In my lap my phone buzzed and I saw Levi's name flash on the screen.

Clive leaned closer, as if he had a secret to whisper. "Olive, I think I'm falling for you," he closed his eyes, his brow furrowed, "No," he corrected himself, "I know I'm falling for you. I can't think of anyone else."

I felt my brows shoot up and my lips part in shock. Where was this coming from? Falling for me? Clive? I blink my eyes twice, both times deliberate and hard as I process. "Oh, Clive... you know I'm seeing Levi."

Clive's face revealed a new emotion... Perhaps, jealousy? It's strange, but his words confirmed the emotion. "Levi Jaymes is not the right person for you, Olive."

"And you are?" The words even sounded ridiculous as I spoke them.

He nodded firmly. "I believe I am, Olive."

I sighed. "Clive, I don't' know what to say – or do with this. I can't throw away a boyfriend I've had for nearly two months just because you suddenly have a crush on me."

He clenched his jaw and his hands gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. "But it's not sudden."

I looked at him, even more confused. "What?"

He paused and the car fell silent. In my lap the phone buzzed again, probably Levi, but I kept my eyes glued to Clive as he spoke. "I've liked you since the Masquerade Ball."

My phone started to ring and I looked, away from Clive, and answered the call from Levi. "Hey," I said, my voice a little scratchy.

"Where are you? I've called twice. It doesn't matter. I'm on my way over now. I should be there in five."

I cleared my throat. "Clive's dropping me off at my house now. I'll see you soon." I hung hastily and gathered my purse while unbuckling, my seat belt. I avoided Clive's gaze as my hand found the door handle.

"Olive, wait." Clive's hand wrapped around my wrist, anchoring me there when all I wanted to do was run. "Please just think about it."

"Clive, I can't." The words were bittersweet and I realized that once upon a time I would have willingly fallen head-over-heels for Clive Lawrence. But he's bound for Greatness – he's leaving in a week and I was not about to sign onto another loved one leaving behind. "Good luck, Clive... And keep in touch."

***

On the side is a picture of Dylan O'Brien as Clive Lawrence

Samantha  X