SEVENTEEN years to Live

14 ●○► THE CONFERENCE ROOM

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

●○► THE CONFERENCE ROOM

“Mary?”

The voice comes from the top of the stairs. It sounds so familiar I want to detach my lips from Bryan’s. My eyes are closed for a minute while we kiss, and by the time I hear the voice call my name, they immediately flutter open.

“Is that you?” asks the voice, the curiousness in his tone noticeable as he asks.

I try to recognize where the voice belongs to. Instinctively, my mouth stops to move and my head turns toward the stairs, Bryan’s hands still holding my head.

“Kevin?” the name escapes my mouth so suddenly. His appearance makes me nervous about kissing Bryan. I seem to be like in the state of more panic. Panic of what’s going to happen in the Conference Room and panic about Kevin seeing me kissing another guy as if I just cheated on him. No, I think. I already have Bryan and I’m quite happy with that. But I still feel the same thing as before for Kevin.

“So it’s you?” His voice, I think, bears a heavy distaste. He says the word you as if he doesn’t really want to say it. Why is acting like he doesn’t know me? Like we didn’t share memories in the past few years?

Bryan put his hands down from my face and I take a few paces toward the beginning of the stairs.

“Yes,” I say. “I am. I am Bryan’s girlfriend.”

I expect Kevin to knit his eyebrows at me, disgusted. I look away to avoid that. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him expel a heavy sigh and look down. I glance at his face. I don’t know what that expression on his face is. I cannot even describe it.

“I know you are expecting somebody.” What am I saying? “I know you do not want me with Bryan.” I say that without turning my face up to him. I say that with my head bowed down, like I am waiting for the judge’s verdict if I am going to be executed or not. Behind me, I feel Bryan’s hand reaching to hold my hand.

“What’re you saying?” he whispers in my ear.

But I ignore him.

“It’s not what you think, Mary,” says Kevin. “In fact, I feel glad that you’re with him. I feel glad that you’ve finally found someone there to love you. Bryan will give you all, I assure you. He’s a good guy. I hope you don’t let him go.”

The words take about a minute before they sink in. Now I really come to know that Kevin doesn’t feel the same way about me. He’s happy with Jamela, his girlfriend, with his family.

A moment later, Jamela materializes behind Kevin. She looks down at us with an eyebrow raised. What now? I think. Is she going to kiss Kevin and make me jealous about it? I hope not. It still breaks my heart.

Instead, Jamela says, “The family’s gone into the Conference Room.” I sense the authority in her words. My heart starts to hammer again. “It’s time, Mary.”

I glance at Bryan who is standing beside me. He opens his hand a little bit and closes it again more tightly against mine. I take a long breath, nervous, and expel a heavy sigh through my dry mouth. Bryan gives me a reassuring look, and I change my expression like I do not want to do this anymore and just go home. It’ll be all right, I tell myself. It will be all right.

The next thing we do is going up the stairs. Bryan and I take the steps very slowly as if there’s a hole waiting for us. But it’s impossible to have a hole in this great, beautiful, well-constructed house. Everything is safe here that being safe inside is also a danger.