Down For You

First Time for Everything

I am so turnt at this moment in time, but I can never be too turnt for a bathroom break. I search upstairs to find a restroom as soon as humanly possible, even though my limbs feel like they are drifting behind me. I wobble a little as Red helps me keep my balance as much as hold on to what's left of her's. I knock on the door twice before twisting the silver knob and pushing the door open. Red stands on the other side of the closed door as I continue to relieve myself. I finish fixing and cleaning myself up and close the bathroom door behind me as I exit the bathroom.

As soon as I get back downstairs I have the immediate thought in my head saying, "Go look for Lucas, now." I comply with my conscience and look for "the tall light skinned guy" and of course the one thing I wish would not be happening, is unfolding right before my eyes.

One thing about me, I don't take certain situations lightly. I have a short temper and when I get upset it's run or get murdered.

This nappy headed thot has the audacity to put even the slightest arch in her back and twist her dirty ass hips on MY man. I don't know what to do first: break her scrawny neck and smash her head against the wooden floor or drop kick Lucas for allowing her to even look his way more than once. I'm starting to feel very hot and my breathing is irregular. I'm seconds away from blacking out and beating everybody's ass.

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I don't know what the hell is going on but all I can hear is Red saying; "You alright Ray? Just calm down girl. Be calm. They know wassup". As I regain sanity and clarity of the situation, I continue to stare in the direction of the chick who ass almost got killed tonight. I am feel myself breathing wildly with both my hands clenched in a fist on both sides of me.

"I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm good. I'm chilling right now." I respond in the calmest of tones. I stand up and look Lucas in his face. I don't know what is coming over me, but the urge to slap all the liquor out of his system is brimming and I can't hold it in. I swiftly and unsteadily turn my body towards the door, walking as quickly as my tiny feet and short legs can take me. As soon as I get outside I hear Lucas calling my name.

"RAY, COME HEA. WHEA DA HELL YOU GOIN'?" he shouts attempting to catch up with me.

"WHAT THE HELL IT LOOK LIKE LUCAS. LEAVE ME ALONE WIT YO DUMB ASS." I nearly scream as I stomp heavily towards the car, my words are slurred and I don't even care. I'm a completely different person when I'm angry. I can care less about what Lucas has to say. To be honest, there isn't anything he can say.

Troy decides to ride with Red back to her place and they head their own way. The car ride home is so tense right now and I have little to no words to say to Lucas. He slowly inches his hand towards my thigh and I flick it away from me. What the hell is wrong with him? I see his face contort out the corner of my glassy eyes as he returns his focus on the road. He tries again for the second time and gets the same result.

"Babe, you really gone act like dat right now?" his sense of sobriety slowly returning. I face him and give him a "what the hell you think" face. Really nigga?

"Don't look at me like dat. I was drunk aright. I wasn't even payin' her no attention bae. Ray, forreal? Don't do me like that." he attempts to persuade me that I should believe the lies he is continuing to tell me right now but that is dead. I look out the window of the car and continue to ignore him. I can tell he is pissed now because he picks up speed a little. Guess we're even now.

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We get to the house quick as hell and he does not waste any time getting inside. I walk behind him through the front door slowly. My feet hurt, I'm drunk, and I am completely pissed. I shift my direction and walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. As I'm walking up the stairs, I keep replaying that moment in my head. I feel my face getting hot once again and I try my hardest not to black out...Again.