I had begun to feel like I was encased in a layer of ice. I was cold inside. But I clung to the coldness for dear life: Who knew what would happen if I let the ice thaw and actually began to feel things again? I would probably melt into a blubbering idiot and return to being completely nonfunctional like I had been for the first few years after he died. I missed him. His disappearance from my life felt unbearable. That handsome africanman who everyone liked the moment they looked into his laughing brown eyes. When he saw me and his face lit up with an expression of pure adoration, I knew that no matter what stupid things I might do in life, I would always have one fan in this world, cheering me on from the sidelines.
his death ripped my heart out, like he had been a physical part of me that was dug out with a scalpel. He was a soul mate, a “kindred spirit,” as he used to say. Not that we always got along. But now that he was gone, I had to learn to live with the big, burning hole that his absence left inside me. If I could have escaped reality for just a few hours at night, maybe my waking hours would have been more bearable. But sleep was my own personal nightmare. I would lie in bed until I finally felt its velvety fingers sweeping my face with numbness.
Whoever said time heals all, was a complete liar, it healed nothing. The only thing it did was remind you how long its been since your life took turn for the worst. I still miss him. It been almost 7years since he was taken away from me. It's been seven years since I last saw him, it's been seven years since I last spoke to him, since I last heard his voice ringing into my ears like a love poem, since I last heard his words floating in my mind like a love song. It been seven years since I last saw his smile.
I miss him in my bones, I miss him like my heartbeat, I have mourned him for 7years but what I will never forget is his beautiful smile.
Whoever said time heals all, was a complete liar, it healed nothing. The only thing it did was remind me how long its been since my life took turn for the worst. I still miss him. It been seven years since I last heard that one sentence that torn me inside out into million devastating painful pieces. That one sentence that turned my fairytales heaven into a fairytale nightmares.
It been 7years since I last saw him laying down on that hospital bed attached to wires fighting death for his life but it was to late, death was already pulling him to it door.
It been seven years since I last heard that one sentence, "I'm sorry for your lost" that one sentence rippped my heart out of my chest and squeezed it making breathing become a struggle, draining the life out of me until I shut down, making me feel numb.
It been seven years since I last heard him say my name like it was the most beautiful thing that ever existed. It been seven years since I last saw his lifeless body laying there in that casket with a ghost smile on his face. It been seven years since I last saw my brother and my best friend. May his soul rest in peace.
YOU ARE READING
The Weight Of Lies
Puisi"You Turned around and run like the bitch you are and left no trace you offer lies all the way but you seek the truth and abandon grace these are the times and the days when the tongue's sharper than a thousand blades do you mean all the things that...
