What they were really thinking....
**********
OUAT 2x19
***
Belle: You really are as dark as people say
Rumpelstilskin: Darker dear *Yes very dark. Super duper dark. The Dark D!*
-out of the carriage*
Rumeplstilskin: *who the ***** is singing?!*
Sheriff of Nottingham: -sings while drunk- I feel pretty. Oh so pretty!
Rumpelstilskin: *Ugh...god how should I approach this? Aha! Confuse him! Shouldn't take much*
Sheriff of Nottingham: *God why did I choose a tall horse? Nevermind, nevermind just...swag it off* What are you doing here in my woods?
Rumpelstilskin: *Now, here's what I'll do. USE A DIFFRENT ACCENT!* Pardon for the intruding Sheriff but I'm looking for a theif. He attacked me with his bow -shows bow- Travelled as far as these woods and then he vanished!
Sheriff: *He looks familiar* *This bow is FREAKIN AWESOME!* Yes yes I know who you're after...*focus!!! Short...Green...Sparkly...* *I KNOW!* But I also know who you are Rumpelstilskin.
Rumeplstilskin: My reputation proceeds me, excellent! *fame is such a burden*
Sheriff: *OMGEEEEEE IT'S RUMPELSTILSKIN!!!!!! OMG OMG OMGEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe he'll sign my cloak!* I'll tell you where you can find your theif.
Belle: -sighs- *fanboys...*
Sheriff: If you give me something in return -drinks rum to get EVEN MORE DRUNK!- *ok ok be cool, be cool*
Rumpelstilskin: -sighs- *fanboys...* what do you want?
Sheriff: -@Belle- *Hey sweet thang* A night with your wench
Rumpelstilskin: .....*I have a wench?* -looks over at Belle- *oh...right*
Both Rumpel and Belle: *gags!*
Rumpelstilskin: Oh uh, she's not for sale *ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?! EYES OFF MY WOMAN!*
Sheriff: Oh haha you can't part with her eh? *You know she wants me* Maybe uh....20 minutes?
Rumpelstilskin: Let me think -thinks- *ummmmm yeahhhhhh NOPE* -conjours Sheriff's tongue out of his mouth* -insert Rumpel's giggle here- *moron*
Sheriff: *my tongue! Dammit! I knew I should have just asked for the autograph!*
Rumpelstilskin: I propose a new deal. I'll give you this back and in return you'll tell me everything about the man I am hunting *You keep your shit to yourself or I'll bitchslap you with your tongue!* And use your eyeballs as marbles* You need to be more careful with your possessions *NEVER lay any hands ON my wen...I mean BELLE!*
Sheriff: -muffles-
Rumpel and Belle: *wha???*
Rumpelstilskin: *oh forget it! I can't understand him!* I'll take that as a yes then! -conjours and gives Sheriff's tongue back-
Sheriff: *Oh my tongue! So glad your back!*
Rumpelstilskin: Start...talking *Or your balls will be next*
Sheriff: I've been chasing him for years! He stole the woman I love! He made me the laughing stalk of Nottingham!
Rumpelstilskin: Where can I find him? *oh my god! Just name and location your IDIOT!*
Sheriff: The last I heard, he was hiding out..in Sherwood Forest.
Rumpelstilskin: *Yes yes, location check!* Name?
Sheriff: Robin Hood. He goes by...Robin Hood
Rumpelstilskin: *of course he does...*
