A Summer of Discovery

Chapter Two

I couldn't speak. I'm not prepared for this. I didn't want to talk to her, not now. I grabbed some clothes and walked towards the door heading for the bathroom, she grabbed my shoulder and determined she pulled me back inside and shut the door behind her, her back pressed against the door and blocking my exit.

"Emery don't do this"

I held my breath, not able to speak as my eyes cast down to the floor. I didn't want to look. Once I looked up I couldn't go back and I knew it would be like the opening of Pandora's Box.

Slowly I exhaled finding my eyes apprehensively drawn towards her and after what felt an eternity, I looked at her. I really looked at her for the first time since we were eighteen. I had wanted to avoid looking in those eyes, those eyes that swallowed me up a thousand times drinking me in and leaving me breathless. I couldn't stop myself though, like a magnet I was drawn to them.

I was suddenly sixteen again and she was the object of my affection. I had spun on an axis around her like the earth around the sun for what felt forever, ending eight years ago. I looked only briefly before pulling my eyes away from hers and focusing on the green carpet at my feet again. It was seconds though until I was pulled back to her form in front of me with a genuine need to finally face her.

I took a deep breath and let myself take her in, in her entirety. Stop I begged myself knowing it was useless to try and deny the inevitable.

Her blond hair was now just below her shoulders where once it was long to her waist. She was still petite, still in her trademark red chucks with a white spaghetti top covered by a light green linen jacket and cut off shorts. Her fashion had not changed a dime, she was casual, feminine and comfortable. It was her eyes that drew me back to her gaze that was still unbroken as she awaited my response. Oh those fucking eyes they held the key to a locked and thrown away life I felt I had dropped into the bottom of the ocean to rust and most importantly never be opened again. Lilly has hands down the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. Emerald green. If your eyes are the window to your soul then Lilly should have the purest soul you ever did see. I knew that wasn't true though. Still the sight of her had my heart racing. Speak Emery Speak! Stop staring at her.

Finally my lips began to moisten as my tongue slid over my top lip nervously.

"Do what Lilly? What am I doing exactly?" I asked barely moving, my heart hammering in my chest.

"You're avoiding me again. Do you know Emery how many family occasions there have been in the last eight years that you haven't attended? When the years passed and you missed mine I thought you know what that's okay she's hurting and I don't deserve your thoughts or your time but the baby's births and their birthdays, your dad and my mom's birthdays? Easter? Fourth of July? Christmas? Thanksgiving? Emery you made it so you didn't exist to us anymore, you know how painful that is?"

My eyes burnt into hers "Are you joking? Tell me you're joking"

"Em we have missed you" she paused taking a step towards me "I have missed you" she continued her voice faltering on the last word with emotion. She reached out to touch my hand and I pulled it away. I shook with anger. How dare she put this all on me? I wish I had never come back.

I took a deep breath rubbing my temples as a headache began to form "I find that terribly hard to believe Lilly. You know my address and you know my number so if you missed me that much why didn't you call or write me huh? Why didn't Pops or Jane visit me more than that one time five years ago? I know what I've missed you don't need to tell me. Don't you dare try and guilt trip me. I sent cards for the babies. Most people wouldn't have even done that" I spat.