A Summer of Discovery

Chapter Twelve

2004

It had been two weeks since I had returned from my grandparents. They had been everything I had imagined they weren't, they had embraced me and wouldn't let me out of their sight for the entire two days. Seemed that Pops hadn't ever sent them my pictures so as soon as they saw me all they could see was my mother, and it was obvious they regretted their decision greatly but I couldn't bond with them, I didn't know them and it all felt a little too late. I embraced the two days I had with them and asked everything about my mother I ever wanted to know. I came away with pictures and some belongings of hers and swore I would visit again one day. It would never happen though.

Pops had had me busy working at the garage after our return, if I wasn't at school I was working. Lilly had been distant, she was still texting me and we still saw each other but she had avoided coming over to the house and certainly she had avoided physical intimacy. I couldn't understand Lilly's sudden absence from me, from us, but I was beginning to feel its affects, it was starting to hurt. At school Lilly had made a lot of friends, as I had told her she would, she was invited onto the cheer team and she took it up without even thinking about the time it would take away from us after school in the precious hours that Pops and Jane were still at work, her Mom had finally got a job at the local care facility. It's not that I didn't love that Lilly was doing cheer and I would have never told her not to, it was the fact she didn't even discuss it with me, like she didn't even think about our precious time that we had together. Luckily for me Sam still made sure I was never completely alone, when Lilly opted to sit with her new friends, Sam would sit with me, sure she invited me to sit with them but I didn't know them or particularly like them. Sam had always understood that but for some reason, she didn't.

It was Friday morning and I had walked to school alone, I noticed Lilly had been picked up by some of the girls from cheer so I walked the ten minutes to school with my head down and my heart beginning to feel trampled on. It wasn't making sense and I didn't want to feel like this anymore. I would have to ask her, I was so paranoid that she was wanting to get out of our relationship and had changed her mind that I daren't ask her for fear of bringing it up and it blowing up in my face. I was hurting and in limbo but still I couldn't face the pain and hurt that answers may produce.

Lilly was stood by the bikes when I walked up to the school, within a crowd, I could feel her looking my way and waving to me but I kept my head down and made my way up the path to the school as if I hadn't seen her. I could hear her calling after me but it wasn't the place or the time to confront the issue. I spent the rest of the day avoiding her, if I saw her I ducked away and turned the corner. I managed to keep it up until the bell rang at the end of the day. Sam offered to drive me home and I jumped at the chance.

As we pulled into the drive I realised I couldn't be alone, not again, so I invited him to stay. "Please just stay for a couple hours" I begged him. "We can do math together, I'll even fill in your answers for you" I continued. I wobbled my bottom lip like a big faker, he smiled and pulled the keys out of the ignition. I jumped out of the car and high fived him jokingly. "Great choice my friend" I said as we entered the house.

"You better have drink, food and be serious about my math" Sam said jumping on the couch and spreading his legs out over the table. "I have all of that and more. I'm serious I really don't want to be alone again tonight. It's going into three weeks now and I'm done with it" I said slamming the refrigerator behind me and balancing a bowl of chips and two sodas on my hips. I wobbled over to the couch and he took the bowl and the soda. Sam flicked through the channels ending on reality TV at its worst, he laughed at the screen and flicked chips into his open mouth, I tried but I couldn't even crack a smile, which wasn't me at all. I grabbed my bag and took out my school books.