A Summer of Discovery

Chapter Twenty Five

"Here you go sweetheart" Jane said handing me a neat pile of towels and bed sheets. I took them in both hands and walked towards my old bedroom, the door pushed open with my weight behind it to reveal the dark shadows of my childhood bedroom. My eyes gravitated to the small double bed against the wall with my mother's comforter draped over the end of it. A memory of Lilly washed over me as I trailed my eyes over the white sheets. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as my mind went back to the night we had slept together, I could feel her silky smooth skin under my palms as they moved over her stomach and then to her back as I pulled her down on top of me as she made love to me, wanting to be closer and to feel everything deeper and more intensely. As soon as I remembered her mouth moving over my neck as her teeth grazed my ear, dropping her body down onto my skin, her breasts meeting mine in the middle...I lost it. I reached out to steady myself as my eyes opened and the memory rocked me. I grabbed onto the door handle and felt a little light headed.

"You okay honey" Jane said coming up the hallway in her night gown. I steadied my deep breaths until I sounded a little less like a horny teenager. "I'm fine I was just thinking about the old days" I replied turning to meet her concerned expression. She let the concern go and smiled "We have had some great times in this house. I have a feeling though that the best ones are still to come. I couldn't be happier that you are finally home for a holiday, I'm as giddy as child at Christmas about this, Thanksgiving is mine and Lilly's favorite holiday and I can't wait to have both of my girls home for it. See you tomorrow, late morning" she said with one finger flexed towards me, hoping I would take note of its importance that I was present and on time. "I will collect your Pop and be back to check on the turkey. I have explained that this is a whole family affair so everyone will be here to help prepare at ten. Love you honey" She held me for a moment. "I love you too. Don't worry I won't ruin your turkey." I said as she let go and smiled. "See you tomorrow" She replied going into the bathroom and shutting the door.

I flicked the light on as I entered my bedroom and dumped the pile of clean linen and towels on my desk like usual. The room smelt stale, I realized no one had probably used it since my last stay. I leant over the bed and unlatched the window, it shuddered to a stop quarter of the way up. I pulled the net curtain over and laid down. I couldn't help the guilt I felt when I noticed that Lucy's clothes hangers were still sat on the wardrobe door taking me straight back to that day she left me. I had spent two months dwelling on it and trying to figure out what I could have done to prevent her that pain. I couldn't go back and take any of the pain back but I would if I could, I wouldn't have slept with Lilly, it was a betrayal I felt I would never inflict on anyone and yet when temptation was offered to me... I took it. After all this pain and upheaval one thing was clear...I couldn't deny or run from my feelings for Lilly, they consumed me no matter how much I had pretended they didn't.

***

I was sat on the porch at Nine fifty five with a steaming cup of coffee. I had showered and dressed early so I would be prepared for the non-disclosed amount of family that would soon descend, Jane hadn't once told me the numbers but I had noticed as I made my coffee that she had brought in lawn chairs and all the folded chairs from Aunt Caroline's store were here. Two more tables were set up in the lounge too. I admitted defeat and sat hugging my coffee with my hands. It was a chilly day out and my breath could be seen in the air in front of me but the street was peaceful and I loved it. I pulled the sweater Jane had left hanging on my door this morning down my arms from my elbows where I had rolled them up earlier. It was an interesting find this morning, the sweater was casual in style, brown with a giant turkey on the front with red writing stretched across the breast reading 'Gobble Gobble'. I guessed Jane had worn the sweater for many years when I noted the stretched and cracked bits in the lettering that were quite obviously stretched out by a large bosom, I didn't have much to pair it with so I kept it simple with black denim skinny jeans and white Converse.