Two weeks with Mr.Selfish

Part 14

Part 14

There was this one time, when I was about fourteen years old, that I’d thought that I’d truly been heartbroken. I’d been an awkward thing – even more so than now, with very little sense of any real self expression, but that was about the time I’d met and grown close to Duke. I was enamored with him – the flutters in my stomach wouldn’t subside when he was near, the aching in my chest worsened when he smiled, and a stupid grin was consistently plastered on my face in his presence. I’d liked him a lot, and he’d liked me too. Unfortunately, I was his buddy. His Sam banana. His friend. He usually joined me for lunch, but this particular time he was nowhere to be found. Only minutes later had he come strolling in, his arm wrapped affectionately around the waist of this pretty blonde girl with a large bust and a blindingly white smile. I was devastated. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep for nights on end; all because I was sure that I was suffering a slow and agonizing death. From a broken heart.

That was the last time I’d felt that dull, throbbing sensation resonating through my chest or the awful sickness tightened in my stomach. It was the last time my mind had been plagued with racing thoughts of what if what if.

Until now.

I sat within the cushions of Liam’s oversized sofas, my body stiff and my eyes moving only to catch glimpses of Liam gliding from the kitchen to the living space with a hot pizza box and a DVD. My mind was elsewhere. I felt sick – I felt, God I didn’t know what I felt. I knew Leoni was back at the apartment, giddily curling her blonde locks and applying a generous amount of shimmery eye shadow and fruity lip gloss and perfuming her delicate little neck. I knew she was slinking into a silky fitted dress, the front dipped low so Zayn could peek every so often. So Zayn could know what he’d be offered later in the evening. And seeing Zayn leave half an hour prior, his warm brown eyes looking everywhere but mine just about did me in. He sauntered out in dark jeans and a deep grey pullover, his jet black hair pulled back by a beanie. The scent of his damn cologne and body wash – both which I knew all too well at this point – still lingered in the air long after he left.

It made me want to vomit.

I tried to avert my mind to something – anything but the disgusting date my roommate and Zayn were going on tonight. My mind wandered only for a moment as I observed that Liam’s loft was almost identical to Zayn’s – only Liam’s was much messier, with clothing thrown over random furniture pieces and half-eaten packs of skittles sitting open on the counter. I also tried to amuse myself by observing the attire of Liam instead; he was still dressed in simple sweats. His hair wasn’t straight like usually. Little beachy curls popped out every now and then.

He noticed me staring at him and rolled his eyes as he sat down next to me, causing the cushions to sink in slightly. “Don’t look at me,” he sighed dramatically. “I’m a creature.”