; glory and gore [1]

F O U R T Y ; SUN

_______I'll be the home to your homeless heart...

Endless flow drips down her rosy cheeks, convinced that tears may wash away the stains in her memory.

The same haunting her at nights, at the only instants she'd hope finding reassurance in a sweetest, imaginary world.

The same brutally choking her, soaking the life out of her lungs while she's gasping for air, pleading for the room to grow bigger because all she can compare her place as is an oppresive prison.

The same that crept in her lonely existence, sparking up a freil flame - she regained faith in the future - only to blow it all away, forcing her to evolve in the darkness that frightened her the most.

Except tears can't erase the disturbing sketches, neither can they make their view blurrier as they touch the paper - or the ground.

All they're used for is to let go of poisoning emotions, the kind that all the words in the dictionary could never come close to describe because no one could ever even imagine such an excruciating pain.

Ironically enough Sasha has become some kind of a walking dead man, her inner self as dry as a corpse but her exterior oddly wet, receiving the bless of a beautifully tragic river dripping down from her void gaze.

And her own reflection makes her sick to her guts. She can't manage to lay eyes on such a broken soul, her needs and goals quickly transforming into distant images she once valued.

She hates herself with every ounce of rage running wild in her veins, for still being the naive little girl she swore she smothered ages ago.

Eventually she comprehended that she didn't succeed in doing so and the sole thing she did was to cover up her outburst with tons of make up and lies, fooling the entire Universe.

She built a solid facade which ultimately shattered in pieces when it turned out than with or without it, she'd always experiment the hurtful betrayals.

Along the way she's been so sure that since she turned the tables around, taking the role of the villain and not the victim anymore, she'd cope easier with her feelings.

Even the most devious beings have a hidden weakness and once that spot is hit, the armor effortlessly crumbles.

Banks' is none other than the trust she continually and foolishly places in the wrong hands, receiving nothing but heartbreak once the illusion vanishes away.

Fortunately enough for her sadden heart it still gets racing by an unexpected yet gentle drug, awaking agreeable hallucinations that ease the pain away each time she'd notice his tender stare fixed upon her - or are those times real ? she couldn't tell the difference since they are so precious.

His presence, which she once couldn't bear to tolerate, is the only one she seeks for, reviving her dead brain as she can read how much he actually cares for her - now that nobody else is.