Zero

Cigarettes

Mathew was arguing with his seventy-two year-old wife again, for the third time that day. As usual the argument was about his cigarettes, and how he would get some fatal disease and wither away into nothing.

"If fate goes that way, then that's what will happen!" he practically shouted at Lucia.

"And you know damn well if you stop your clock could change!"

She was referring to his last clock, below his dagger and his heart. Her last clock was nestled in the middle, between her heart and her dagger.

Mathew pulled into their driveway and turned off the car, the old thing sputtering angrily.

He saw Lucia open her mouth again and he finally said, "Fine! I'll stop if that's what you want. I'll stop right now, and you're going to help me."

Lucia closed her mouth and looked at him questioningly.

"We're going to collect every carton of cigarettes, and burn them out back."

"Oh, the neighbors will love that," Lucia muttered under her breath, obviously knowing perfectly well Mathew could hear her.

Mathew sighed, shook his head, and gingerly climbed out of the car as quickly as his arthiritis would let him.

He grabbed the cigarette carton from the console, then went around the car to take out his cigarette stash from the glove box.

Lucia glared at him when she saw all the cartons in his hands, there were seven, and stomped into the house in search of more of Mathew's cigarettes.

In the end, there were twenty-eight cartons in total, and they were all currently sitting on the burn pile.

Lucia viciously slopped gasoline from a red container onto the pile adorned with a few dry sticks and leaves.

Mathew took absolutely no pleasure in handing her the box of matches, but she obviously took great pleasure in tossing a lit one onto the pile.

Everything went up in flames and a pillar of black and gray smoke, and Mathew turned to his wife, already feeling a twinge of regret and the lull of need for a cigarette.

"Happy now?"

"Very," Lucia replied with a smile.

Mathew shook his head again, and slowly plodded to the house.

The next day he kept twitching, and finally went to the store to buy several large bags of sunflower seeds.

The sunflower seeds helped, especially the feeling of having something in his mouth, but the craving for the missing nicotine burned hot in him.

After three days of no cigarettes, he was no longer twitching, but was cranky as all hell.

Lucia had planned a picnic in the park across the river, so across the river they went.

He picked at his food, but ate it without complaint, and instead of his usual after-meal-cigarette, he popped in a couple of sunflower seeds. Then a few more, and a few more, until he'd eaten nearly a quarter of a one-pound bag.

Lucia eyed the bag warily, no doubt considering telling him he'd get fat from the constant eating of sunflower seeds, but she said nothing.

He was still being cranky, but helped her pack up the wicker picnic basket.

"It's a nice place," Lucia said timidly, gesturing to the lake and the nearby woods.

"Yeah, I 'spose. If you like bugs and wild animals disrupting your meal," Mathew replied irritably. For sure enough, after a while what had seemed like an entire colony of ants had joined him on the blanket, and a few squirrels had tried to steal their chips.

Lucia didn't say anything until they'd gotten in the car.

They were fairly far down the road before she said anything.

"So how are you feeling, now?" She asked brightly.

Mathew tried to glare at her from the corner of his eye.

"Fan-freaking-tastic, Lucia. What do expect me to say?"

"Well, I was just wondering," she huffed, now rather annoyed.

"Well, it sucks. I feel absolutely terrible, and I would kill for a cigarette right now."

"You'll be grateful you've kicked the habit in a few years."

"It's not like I'm thirty, Lucia. I'm a big boy, and I can make my own decisions. And I have half a mind to just go by a pack right now."

"Mathew Darren, you will do no such thing, or so-help-me-God--"

"And what are you and God going to do? Force me to 'kick the habit' so I can live a couple years longer and die of old age?" He interrupted.

"Yes, I am. And you damn well better believe it, mister."

Mathew turned to her and completely ignored the road, taking a hand off the wheel.

He went to talk but Lucia cut him off. 

"You pay attention to the road right now or I'm getting out and driving myself!"

Mathew rolled his eyes and quickly checked the road. They were going over the river, and no one was coming. There was absolutely nothing to run into.

He turned back to her, but she cut him off again, this time with a scream.

"Mathew, look out!"

He jerked his eyes back to the road in time to see a terrified motorcyclist he hadn't noticed in his way. Mathew yanked his wheel to the right to avoid the person, forgetting he was on a bridge, above a river.

His wife screamed again as they made a swan dive for the bottom of the river. He grabbed her hand and tried to unbuckle the seat belts, but his was stuck.

Just before he lost consciousness, everything went to grays, and he knew that in the end, cigarettes never mattered.

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Song: O' Death by: Jen Titus

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Helloooo everyone! Thanks to everyone who has been reading!! Please don't forget to comment!!!!!!! Voting is also excellent, but commenting let's me know what you all really think about these stories!

~ Felicia Bradbury ~