We'll Make it (PTV Fan Fiction)

~Why The Fuck Am I Falling Apart?~

Note: I am going to try and put a song at the start of every few chapters. I listen to all sorts of music while I write. This is the acoustic version, but I love the original just as much. 

*****

~Avery's POV~

Harper lays in the hospital bed. The doctors have put all sorts of tubes and needles in her.

This hospital room is so dark. All you can hear are the slow beeps of the machines hooked to my best friend.  The curtains are open and all I can see are the city lights shining down into the room. All the lights are off. I have left them off when the nurses leave. I don't want anyone who walks in here to see me. I look awful. The bags under my eyes indicate how little sleep I have had the last few days, and the same outfit I wore yesterday shows how truly desolate I am. 

It has been 3 days since she collapsed. They said she should wake up soon, but they don't know when.  It was all my fault. I yelled at her when she needed to go. That is exactly why she didn't ever contact me when she was in LA. She didn't want to be pulled back all the time. I always force her to go back into situations she doesn't want to be in. 

I cried for a solid 6 hours. I sat next to her bed and held her hand. I cried till I had no tears left. Eventually I just couldn't anymore. I felt so guilty. The doctors told me they predicted that she had an extreme panic attack that triggered something more. They will have to run more tests when she wakes up, but I know it can't be good. 

The last couple days I have been staring out of this window. The hospital room has a giant window that looks out over the city. The guys came with me to see her when she was first admitted, but I was so much of a mess that I asked them all to go. I needed some time with her. They came yesterday too, and I didn't talk to either of them. I have gone home around 1 am the last couple of nights, but I look at the time on the clock in the room and see that it is 1:45. I turn and look back out the window. San Diego is such a beautiful place.

"Avery? I thought you had gone back already." I am startled by Tony standing in the doorway to the hospital room. He walks over to the chair next to me and sits down.

"I know it has been hard. It has been for everyone." He says. I look down and start to fiddle with the rings on my finger. 

"Why do I have to be such a bad person?" I ask. His expression changes. I know he thinks I am a good person, but right now I feel like a terrible person. I put my best friend in the hospital.

"You aren't. I know you think this is your fault, but it isn't. I think everyone had something to do with this," Tony says. I guess he has a point. "Why don't you go back and get some sleep?"

"Okay." I whisper. I pause for a second then get up and leave.

*****

~Tony's POV~

I sit by Harper in the hospital. The light shines in from the window. I grab her hand taking notice of how different it feels now. I have been visiting her after Avery goes back to the house. No one really knew that I was coming here though.

"I miss you." Is all I can choke out. I want to say something more meaningful but I just can't.  I look over and see an acoustic guitar sitting by the chair where Avery sat. I walk over and pick it up. Avery loves this guitar. She doesn't know how to play that much, but has been learning from me, Vic, and Jaime. I go sit back down in the chair right next to her bed. I begin playing I'm Low on Gas and You Need a Jacket. I have never been one to sing, so I just play the song. I watch her while I play. I notice how beautiful she is, even when she is laying in a hospital bed. 

When I am done with the song I go over and sit next to the window where Avery has been sitting for the last 3 days. She doesn't ever want to leave Harper here alone. I don't blame her. Harp came back and even though things were rough, Avery was glad she was here. Now this happens 2 days later. 

I sit in the chair and just strum out some melodies on the guitar. There isn't any way I can explain how sad I have been since I saw Harper laying in Avery's arms on the sidewalk a few days ago. 

"Tony." I am interrupted from my thoughts by Harper. Her voice is shaky and quiet. I go over to the side of her bed and take her hand. She smiles. God, she is amazing.

"I am here." I assure her. I call for the nurses and 3 nurses rush into the room and start to ask questions and check on her. 

For the first time in 3 days I feel like I can finally breathe.