Everyone Experiments In College

The hottie hot roommate

Tao had his nose buried in . Gay . As per usual.

He was just about to lie back, undo his jeans, and get "comfy", when there was a distinct knock on his door. Tao scrambled around in an attempt to hide the magazine and his disheveled appearance from his friends, despite the fact that they knew full well what he did when left to his own devices.

"Uh... come in." Tao said.

The man that walked into Tao's humble dorm room was neither his bossy friend Sehun, his ed friend Kai, nor his clueless friend Luhan. Instead, an exceptionally tall, blonde-haired guy with a modelesque air sauntered through the doorway.

"Tao right?" the stranger asked with a half-smile.

Tao tried unsuccessfully not to choke on his own saliva. "Y-yea. That's me." He half-spoke, half-coughed. Holy , he's ing hot! Like stripper hot. Wait... did Kai get me a stripper again?

Attractive-enough-to-be-a-stripper-guy extended his hand to the befuddled man. "I'm Kris. I guess we're roommates."

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

"So what if you have a roommate? What's the big deal? Everyone has one." Kai scoffed from the seat next to Tao, neither of them even trying to pay attention to the professor's monotonous lecturing.

"You don't," Tao replied, purposefully moving his pen back and forth to resemble the act of taking notes.

"Everyone normal has a roommate," Sehun explained calmly from Tao's other side. He wasn't paying attention either, finding it much more interesting to subtly tickle Luhan who was sitting not so much next to him as half on top of him.

"Having a roommate that's actually the boyfriend you so loudly that the whole hallway knows who "Daddy" is does not count as normal." Tao replied with a suitable amount of defiant pride.

Luhan gasped loudly enough for the whole class to stop and stare at him. Completely oblivious, he all but leapt off of Sehun and turned to face him with his hands on his hips and an indignant glare on his face. "Sehun!" He shouted. The professor stopped attempting to teach and instead joined the students in gawking at the unfolding drama. "You promised no one would be able to hear us!"

Sehun, ever the smooth talker, smiled warmly up at his comically furious boyfriend. "Now, baby, there's no reason to get upset. Every couple has pet names for each other."

Kai snorted. "I don't think it's a pet name if he only uses it when you spank him."

Sehun whipped his head around to pierce Kai with his forceful stare. "You have no proof of that."

"Oh really, Daddy?" Kai geared up. "Cause I'm pretty sure last time I saw Luhan's tight little in the shower it had a big red handprint on it. Oh, give it to me, Daddy!"

Luhan erupted in a sound that combined the roar of a lion, the hiss of a cat, and the sqwuak of a pigeon before turning in a whirl of blonde hair, flailing limbs, and giant anime eyes and storming out of the classroom.

Sehun leaned back in his seat, unbothered by the dozens of eyes gawking at him. He sighed and glanced at his two conniving friends. "Well played."

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

"This really , you know." Tao pouted as he and Sehun walked back from class, having left Kai to flirt inappropriately with the teacher's assistant whom he referred to lovingly as The Hand Guy. Why The Hand Guy? They try not to ask.

"I don't understand what's so unbelievably dreadful about having a roommate." Sehun replied, unruffled by his recent lovers' spat. "It's not like you couldn't use another friend."

"Friend?!?" Tao squeaked, panic raising his voice to an unmanly pitch for a brief second before he recovered. "I can't be friends with him. I'd have to like... tell him stuff... and things... about stuff..."

"Hmm," Sehun mockingly tapped his finger to his chin. "Stuff and things about stuff. So... gayness and things about being gay, yes?"

"I'm not embarrassed or anything," Tao stated defensively, noting Sehun's scoff. "Its just that he has to live with me and he might be, I don't know, not okay with it, you know? Like he might think I like him or whatever just cause he's a dude and I'm gay. Which is totally ridiculous."

"Oh please," Sehun rolled his eyes. "I saw him moving his stuff in this morning and if you are not attracted to him, you're straight. Very very straight. You might as well start wearing baggy clothes, grabbing women's asses, and generally ignoring personal hygiene."

"Alright, he's kind of hot. Whatever." Tao clumsily skirted past the subject, trying to shake the image of the statuesque man from his head. "But that's not the point. I just don't want to have a roommate. Especially a hot one. How the hell did Kai get away with never having one?"

"Well, he really didn't want one, probably because he needs privacy to do ... well I don't want to know what. So every time the housing department assigned him a roommate he'd try to drive them away by having near them. When that didn't work, he had on them. When that didn't work, he had with them. That usually did the trick."

"Why would that scare them off? Some people would like that." Tao paused. "I mean, not me, of course. Other people."

Sehun raised an eyebrow at his friend before answering. "From what I hear, Kai is scary in bed. I don't know why or how, and I don't care to. But his freak-out-the-roommate technique has a success rate of 100%, so I can only assume whatever he does is illegal, amoral, and causes Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder."

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

Later that evening, Tao and Kris were politely ignoring each other's existence when Kai came barreling into the room without so much as a knock.

Before Tao was able to open his mouth to warn Kris about the hurricane that was careening towards them, Kai started. "You will never believe what The Hand Guy said to me!"

"Kris, Kai. Kai, Kris." Tao awkwardly made introductions that he was quite sure Kai ignored. "What's wrong now?"

"Well," Kai huffed as he plopped himself down intrusively on Kris's bed, much to the taller man's bemusement. "I had my full flirt on. I mean, I was clearly giving him the keys to the kingdom if you catch my drift. And this has the nerve to try and tell me he's not gay. Not gay! As if there is anyone at this school that isn't gay. Idiot."

Tao panicked. "Obviously everyone isn't gay. I'm not gay!"

Kai stopped abruptly in the middle of his rant to whip his head around towards Tao. "Since when?"

Tao was hell-bent on defending his non-gay masculinity in front of Kris. "Since always! I love... s. They're awesome. s are the best." Tao protested, well aware of how ridiculous he must sound.

Kai was understandably unconvinced. "Uh-huh..."

"Yea, they're so..." , I don't know anything about s! When was the last time I even saw a ? Was it that Christmas when my cousin tried to hit on me? Why the hell did I see her ? Dammit, this isn't the time for ual questions. I have to say something about s that is most likely true so Kris doesn't figure out I'm gay!"... They're so conveniently located."

"Oh now that's just weird." Kai gave up on Tao's spastic lies and left the room, no doubt to go annoy Sehun or Luhan.

Tao hung his head and tried to ignore Kris's confused stare.

me.