Forehead Kisses (ONGOING)

Part Sixteen

     Aunt Annie did the dishes once everyone finished dinner and got into bed. I couldn't sleep because Retty was mumbling about Justin Bieber getting pregnant in her dreams. 

     I decided to go to my room to get a little alone time. I remember mom's letters. She wrote these really long messages that I could only open on my birthday. Strictly on each year of my birthday. She wrote them back when I was still in her womb. It was the only way I could ever experience a mother's love, through cold parchment preserved by time and her care. I let Aunt Annie read one when I was eight, pretending she was my mom. But I never knew the difference.

     Up the stairs and through the hallway, I entered my dark room. Grey walls were sullied with writings I intended to engrave on them when I was a teen facing dark times. Cameras I've bought, accepted and inherited, were displayed on one table along with pictures in glass picture frames. I put Scott's gift beside an old camera and sat myself on the bed, opening the drawer of a table that stood beside it, and pulled out an old rectangular gift box. I opened it and sought a letter with the number 23 on one side.

     My dear Elizabeth,

          Happy 23rd Birthday, my love.

          You must be all grown up by now. Lady-like and such... I really wish I was the one buying you a cake or maybe a dress or even giving you advice that only moms could give their daughters. I hope you're fine. And when I mean 'fine', I mean getting a decent job with beautiful people and not wasting yourself in a dark alley sniffing all kinds of things. It's funny. I almost forgot you have your dad there with you to check on you. 

          Don't worry about him when he's away. He can take care of himself but he took care of me better. I'm sure he'll do the same for you, too. He'll treat you and Victoria like his little princesses and shape Joshua into a very fine prince. I wish I could see you right now, and hug you, and kiss your little forehead (which would probably be larger now). 

          Honey, I really feel bad I don't get to see you grow. I wish I could've took care of myself a little more. I love you.

          Speaking of not seeing you grow, Victoria must've gotten married by now. Say pregnant with her first... or second child? Joshua must be a good boyfriend to the love of his life by now as well. And you... for all I know, you must be madly in love, too. But I couldn't tell, could I? I wish I were there, with you, and Victoria and Joshua and your father. I'll probably miss all of you when I'm... gone.

          Ah, twenty-three. I met your father at your age. We met exactly on your birthday. A warm July 15. Such a coincidence, huh? It's a day I met my love and bore my last and precious child. Your moron dad was taking a picture of me tumbling down the stairs in a mall the first time we laid eyes on each other.

          Although it was by accident, it was still embarrassing. We got a long way from there. Let's just say if I wasn't stupid enough to wear heels (which I was never used to wear), and clumsy enough to fall down that staircase, I wouldn't have met your father. But still, it was embarrassing and I made your father not talk about it ever again.

          Though I still think that picture is hidden somewhere. He never told me where. Sometimes, he would bring it out and laugh so hard in front of me. "Beth, you are the only person who could make me laugh like this. I love you so much," he would say, then he'd kiss my forehead. I know that one day, you'll find a man who would look at you in a way he'd never look like at others, Elizabeth. One who'd tuck you in at night or hug you tightly after a long time and still kiss you in the forehead even 'til your last breath. 

          Too cheesy for you?

          Mommy will always love you, darling. Although this is my last letter, I hope you would go on and live a life worthy of treasuring. I really wish I could write more letters. Say, until you're a hundred years old but you'll be coming out of my belly soon. *forehead kiss* 

          Goodbye, my sweet Elizabeth...

Love, Mommy