Impulse Control (ON HOLD)

Chapter 1

"Sierra, stop watching the neighbors," Mom says as she bustles around, preparing lunch. I ignore her and return to spying on the new girl. She has long, white-blonde hair that falls down her back in loose waves. Her crystal, ocean-blue eyes stare into mine with ferocity, and I'm aware that she knows I'm watching.

"Sierra!" Mom hisses at me from behind. Obediently I turn towards her, averting my gaze from the blonde. Mom goes back to making lunch, and I open my book, scanning the pages but not really reading. My thoughts are on the girl.

She and her family pulled into our campground about thirty minutes ago. They have a wide camper that looks like it has a nice bunkhouse in the back. I don't know why this pleases me, but it does.

Her family seems rather dysfunctional, however. Her mother is sporting lip rings and tattoos, and her father looks like he just came from the back alleyway. The girl doesn't have a single scar or anything out of place on her. Compared to her family, she looks perfect.

Their spot is right across from ours, so I can easily watch them as they set up their campsite. The mother and father are setting up an awning over the picnic table and the girl is starting a fire in the fireplace. Unconsciously, I begin to watch her again.

Bending over the fireplace, she lights a match and throws it in. Perhaps this is crazy to say, but there's something about the way the match light looks on her skin that makes me want to see more of it.

Almost instantly, I push the thought away. What a crazy thing to think! Shaking my head, I tear my gaze from the girl and force myself to read my book until Mom announces that lunch is ready.

As I eat the grilled hot dogs and the rippled cheddar chips, my thoughts drift from the conversation at the table. I just can't get that girl off of my mind. Her face is imprinted in my memory and I can't forget it. Something about the way she looked at me makes me want to go over there and talk to her, but I manage to restrain myself from doing anything foolish.

"Sierra?" Mom's voice cuts into my thoughts. "Yes?" I say, snapping to attention. "Would you like to go for a boat ride?" Her peevish tone tells me that she's having to repeat the question. "Yes," I answer respectfully. "Yes, I would like that."

"All right," Mom says, getting up from the table. "I will get myself and your little brother ready to go. You go and wash up, then change into your bathing suit."

Nodding, I rise from the table, taking my garbage with me to toss in the can. When this has been accomplished, I sneak one more glance at the girl before I enter our camper to get changed.

I change into my favorite bikini, which is yellow and has diagonal orange lines crossing the front of it. I carefully straighten it out so I'm the picture of perfection. Then, I dab a small amount of water on my face, cleaning the dirt off. Finally, after a final once-over, I exit the camper and wait for Mom and David.

While I'm waiting, I begin to feel eyes on my back. Turning quickly, I see the girl standing on her lawn, looking over at me. Not making any effort towards being discreet, she freely checks me out, running her eyes over my body. I feel pleased in her gaze. Just as abruptly, she turns her eyes from me and busies herself putting away the table cloth on her table.

Two seconds later, I see why she looked away so quickly. Mom and David are coming out the camper door. Mom is wearing a two-piece swimsuit that covers her thighs and her chest. Unlike me, Mom despises bikinis.

David is wearing his new red swim trunks. My heart aches for him as I watch him come out, flapping his fingers in front of his face and mumbling to himself.

Mom looks at me as if to say, "You do this one." I make my way over to David cautiously, taking care not to make any loud noises. "David," I say, catching his chin and trying to get him to look at me. "We are going down to the water. Do you want to swim?"

David no longer speaks, so I don't expect an answer. Instead, I hold my hand up in the air, in front of his face. "If you want to swim, you need to hold my hand as we walk down the hill." He doesn't respond, but he doesn't protest when I take his hand.

I lead us both down the hill, using all of my willpower to not turn around and look to see what the girl thought of David. I needn't turn around to know what she is thinking, though. I know she probably thinks David is a retard.

Gruffly, I pull him down to our boat. "We are going for a boat ride," I tell him as we get closer to it. "After we have went for our ride, then you will get to swim. But if you don't behave during the ride, you will not get to swim. Okay?"

He doesn't answer or look at me, but he lets me lift him over the side and plop him down on a seat. Mom enters next, then I.

I slather sunscreen on myself and David, then I settle him in a shady seat in the back of the boat. I tuck a towel around his body snugly, just how he likes it. Then I make my way to the bow of the boat.

Usually, I stay at the stern of the boat to keep David under control, and I know that's what Mom wants me to do, but today I want a little time by myself to enjoy the view of the lake.

Mom starts the engine and pulls our boat out of the cove. Finally, we hit open water and Mom releases the throttle, spraying a stream of water from the outboard motor.

I throw my head back, feeling the cool breeze lift my reddish brown hair and send it back again. Salt water sprays my cheeks, and a few tears of joy leak from my eyes. This month at Lake Pomme De Terre is always the highlight of my year.

Every time I'm out on the lake, I hear the wind calling my name and the water saying it needs me. I belong out on the lake. It's the only time I feel free.