Living A Double Life

six

Mi's POV

I wake up slowly. I'm a little confused, but there's a little part of me that's glad it's all over. I've never seriously tried to kill myself before, and now that I know I'm alive, and I feel a little saner, I realize that suicide is terrifying. There's some stuff I want to do before I disappear into nothingness, I'm actually not ready to die. I had a strange dream, I don't know if the medications I'm on is what is affecting my sleep, but it's super strange. Like an alternate reality strangeness. I became some girl named Liv, and she had this cute boyfriend, who's not my type, and she was telling him all about me, like my life was her dream. For some reason I feel a little bit of a privacy breach with this imaginary girl. My life is none of her boyfriend's business. It's not even her business. I feel a wave of fresh resentment set in for this chick. Man, my life is a wreck if I'm resenting some imaginary girl I became in a dream. I must be totally losing my mind.

I'm fully awake now, and I finally agree with myself to open my eyes. My nurse walks in just at that same moment. "Oh! Good, you're awake," she says smiling at me. She seems nice enough. I feel weird because shouldn't she be nervous about me being awake? Like last time I was conscious I was screaming my head off... "Are you feeling better now?" she asks me, I nod, "A bit." I notice I'm still tethered down to my bed, and I still have an IV in my arm. "Is that going to knock me out again?" I look at it uncertainly, "No, it's just some stuff to help your body recharge." I relax some, because I think she really wants to help me.

"You have a visitor, do you feel okay enough, or should I tell them to come back later?" It had better not be my mom. I might lose it. "Um, who is it?" I'm genuinely curious because, who do I have that would actually come visit me? Who would even know I'm here? I don't really know many people. "He said he's your friend, D?" She seems a little uncertain. I smile, "Yeah, he can come in." A moment later, an almost tall scrappy boy with a leather jacket and ash eyeliner enters the room with a bouquet of random flowers. His sea green-blue eyes look piercingly around the room, and come to rest at mine. He grins. "Hey Mi." I'm relieved to see him, the only familiar thing in a white room full of tubes and machines. He sets the flowers down on my bedside table, next to my bowl of orange Jell-O and sits down in the comfortable looking visitor's chair. "Hey, thanks for coming D," he nods a silent response. He's such a comfortable person. He looks me up and down, and raises his eyebrows at me, "You just wake up?" he doesn't seem curious as to why I'm in a hospital bed, and that sort of makes me wonder how he ended up here himself. I nod, "I'm starving," he nods, and calls the nurse over, "Hey, can she eat that?" he gestures at the Jell-O, she nods, and unhooks one arm, and raises my bed until I'm sitting up. Dane hands me the bowl and a spoon. "Thanks." He nods quietly again, "Eat up, you've had a rough week." I don't complain or object, and we just sit, and I swallow spoonful after spoonful of orange Jell-O.

After a minute of watching me eat, I look over at him. His eyes are piercing to my soul. "D?" I ask like a little kid, he raises his eyebrows, "How did I get here?" He looks sad. "You killed yourself," he says quietly, "But why am I in a hospital instead of reincarnated as a dog or something?" "Because Mi. Because you didn't answer you phone, and so I found you in a very scary pool of your own blood." He looks almost afraid, like he can see it, see me nearly dead, covered in blood. We don't talk until I have finished my Jell-O. "

Dane?" he looks at me, "Yeah?" I take a deep breath, I'm getting emotional and I don't know why. "Thank you." He saved my life. I am alive solely because he exists. He smiles sadly, "Yeah." We both know I'm not thanking him just for the flowers. I'm thanking him for my life. For him saving me from myself. For being there for me in my darkest moments, when I have nobody else. For the debt I hope I never have a way to repay him. A tear rolls down my cheek. He looks caringly at me, his piercing eyes soften as another drop of water falls from my eye. He stands up, "It's going to be okay now Mi, it's all over, get some sleep. It's okay." He brushes the hair out of my face, and he silently leaves the room as I drift off into a deep sleep.