Panophobia

protective.

I remember how simple things were in pre-school. If you hurt someone’s feelings, you were sent to the office, and the next day you would be friends again. We all smiled, and nothing hurt too badly.

But then we all grew up into power-hungry assholes, fighting the weaker students to social climb to the top. What a fucking pity.

For the rest of the period, everyone stared at me, while William went to the nurse and Emily just marched out of the class. My face is about as red as Bone’s lipstick, and twice as noticeable, plus I’m sure my cheeks were so scorching that marshmallows could be roasted on them.

I kept my head down, and when the bell rang, and grabbed my bag and ran out, despite one of the teachers telling us ‘the bell doesn’t dismiss you.’ I ran to the side of the school where the faculty parking lot is, going to the small patch of grass, hiding behind a tree. I yanked my phone out of my pocket, rapidly dialing Georgia-May’s number, calling her.

“Hey,” It sounded like she was eating.

“C-c-can you pick me u-up from school?” I was out of breath, on the verge of a panic attack.

“Where’s Vic?” There was a faint sound of a girl’s voice in the background.

“I don’t know now, can you pick me up?” I more-or-less yelled into the phone.

“Yeah, Tay and I are leaving my house right now. Where will you be?” The sound of a car door slamming followed.

“The left side, in the staff parking.”

“On our way.”

I hung up the phone, slamming it into the grass, not caring if I smushed it into mud or any other shit. My chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself. My temples throbbed, like hammers were pounding into them, back and forth. It was breezy outside, but I felt like I was trapped in a sauna. Nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, nothing was okay, and nothing was okay.

I felt a pair of arms lift me up and drag me into the backseat of GM’s car, another pair pick up my bag and phone and whatever else I dropped. I don’t remember who grabbed what, but it doesn’t even matter. The car moved and moved and moved and moved and moved and moved and moved and moved and moved and moved-

“Mind telling us what happened?” a voice above me asked. I looked up and say Tay stroking my hair, my head on her lap. One time, Vic and I found ourselves in this position while in the tree house. It was nice.

“Vic got in a fight because of me.”

They sighed and just shut up, perfect. We showed up to GM’s house sometime later, I couldn’t even guess how many minutes; I was drowning in my mind.

I think I fell asleep or fainted or something, because the next time I opened my eyes, I was laying on GM’s bed. Her and Tay were in the room with me; Tay was on the phone and GM was folding up clothes, probably Tay’s.

“No, no, Jaime. I need to talk to Vic now, I’m sorry that you have to hide this shit from your girlfriend, but I need that scrawny boy now! Jaime, don’t you care hang up on me! Jaime!” she took her phone from her ear and looked at it in disbelief. “Fuck.”

“Is he with Jessica?” GM asked, folding the sleeves of a sweater delicately.

“Yeah, let me try Tony or Becky,” she looked up at me and smiled, “I’ll go into the hallway.”