Can't Compare- A Steven Universe Peridot Fanfic

Part 1

No limb enhancers, no Homeworld, no real work, no purpose. Peridot just lay on the couch in the termite infested barn, playing on her tablet while cuddling her stuffed alien close to her tiny little body. It was sometime late in the midst of the night. But she didn't care. She was feeling useless. Even though she could levitate and control metals, she still felt useless.
Peridot stared at Tubetube, just watching the many cat videos that were uploaded onto the webpage everyday. Her eyes felt an ugly, tired, bloodshot red. As she kept staring. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes, turned to hours. Peridot's eyes burned, she wanted to just shut them, even for a minute, but something was stopping her. She didn't know if it was the Tubetube video, or something inside of her.
Peridot wasn't like the other Crystal Gems, she was built... Cheaper you could say. Her body wasn't made to do anything but use tech to navigate on missions. Peridot couldn't even shape-shift. Peridot finally convinced herself to shut down her tablet, and move around a little bit.
"Lazuli?!" She yelled. "Lapis Lazuli!?" She yelled again. There was no response. Peridot climbed down the latter onto the lower part of the barn.
"Lapis?" She said in a much more hushed tone. Peridot decided to search everywhere in the old creaking place, but Lapis was nowhere to be found.
Peridot just shrugged her missing roommate off and decided do step out into the damp , cold grass. Her tiny feet made little prints of where she had stepped. She walked past the large hole, which she and Steven had clogged and filled with water to make a "smaller than average lake" for Lazuli. She kept walking past the silo where Lapis liked to sit and watch the clouds somedays.
The stars were bright that one night, and Peridot sure seemed to notice that. She stared at them as she walked. They seemed to twinkle like a freshly cut gem, brand new from the earth. Peridot remembered that out within those stars she could see Homeworld's galaxy... She stared, slightly wishing to go back in time to where she was taller, and stronger.
Peridot bumped into something and she jumped.
"Who's there! State your purpose!" She said loudly. While Peridot was stargazing, she had bumped into a fence. She stared at the fence. Wondering how she had become so weak as to fear a fence, even if it was just for a moment. Peridot tried to hoist herself onto the fence. After failing the first few times, Peridot managed to successfully climb into the fence and sit. She glared at the stars more, felling sorry for herself. She just stared. Peridot began to feel a liquid protruding from her vision spheres. She lifted her visor and wiped it away onto her finger. Peridot stared at the tear, curious.
"I seem to have some sort of... Leak?" Peridot said as she examined the tear on her little green finger. Could it be? Was she sad? Peridot flicked the tear off of her and continued to stare and feel miserable. It was pathetic. Crying over something as horrible as Homeworld. Peridot felt ashamed to be herself, disgusted to act this way over trivial matters. She was a Crystal Gem now! She was a rebel, she could never go back to that uptight, rude, cloddy, planet. "Why would I want to?" She thought to herself. Peridot stared at her hands. It all was so simple, but it seemed like a 5000 piece puzzle: Unnecessary and complex. Peridot decided that unlike the other gems, she needed to sleep. She not so gracefully fell off the fence, and started walking back to the barn. The grass was still cold and damp, it seemed even colder now that another dew had fallen. Peridot stomped her feet off as she entered the barn. She thought about calling her blue roommate's name again, but what was the point? Peridot climbed back up onto the upper deck of the termite eaten barn. She turned on her tablet, carefully clearing each new notification. She flopped into the couch, onto her stuffed alien. She rolled over, hugging her tablet and began to drift off into sleep. Ready for another day to start...