In Another Life IV

Chapter 17

"Ricky would have liked the ceremony, don't you think, Harley?" asked Mrs. Quinzel, gently, startling Harleen out of her thoughts. She and her parents had just left Ricky's funeral, and were now sitting in a café close by the church. They hadn't spoken since before the ceremony, and during it, all of Harleen's thoughts kept flashing back to her time with the Joker.

"Oh, I...I hope so, Mom," she stammered. She felt horribly guilty about it, especially after what had happened, but she couldn't control it. Every word that had been spoken during the service had been punctuated with visions of her and Mr. J together, memories of his touch, his kiss, the feel of his warm body pressed into hers...she was obsessed with such thoughts. Her mind kept turning back to them, no matter how hard she tried to focus on other things. She needed to be with him again. She needed him.

"Such a tragic thing to happen to that nice boy," murmured Mrs. Quinzel.

Harleen nodded but said nothing. Mr. Quinzel was silent too, studying her. "And have you thought about what you're going to do now, Harley?" he asked, gently. "You're always welcome to come back home..."

"Oh, I...I can't leave my job, Dad," said Harleen, slowly. "I have patients...and work to do..."

Mr. Quinzel lay a hand on her arm. "This is about him, isn't it?" he asked, gently.

Harleen shut her eyes tightly. "I...I can't stop thinking about him," she whispered. "Even all the time during the funeral, when I should have been thinking about Ricky, I was thinking about him. It's...crazy. I know it's crazy, especially after what he's done. But I can't...I can't help myself."

She buried her face in her hands. "I'm in love with him," she whispered. "And I know that's wrong after what he's done, I should be disgusted about it, but I...don't care. I'm not ashamed of it. I do feel guilty about what happened to Ricky because of me, though. The truth is...he died for no reason. He died defending my honor when it didn't need to be defended. I...gave myself voluntarily to another man, a man I love more than life itself. And maybe the tragic thing is, I know he's a monster. And I still love him."

She looked up at her parents. "That's what love is, isn't it?" she whispered. "It's unconditional. I mean, even if I...killed someone, you'd still love me, wouldn't you?"

"That's different, Harley," said her father, gently. "You're our child. Of course we'd love you whatever you do."

Harleen nodded slowly. "And...my love for Mr. J is the same," she murmured. "It's like a child's. I loved him...when I was a child. And that kind of love is unconditional. And deep. And strong. And if you murdered someone, Dad, I would still love you as much as I do now."

Her father was silent. "I guess there's no way either of us can change your mind about him?" he asked, quietly. "Nothing we can say or do?"

"Nah. Nobody could ever change my mind about you either," she replied, shaking her head. She stared down at the table. "Do you mean that...about loving me whatever I do?" she asked, slowly.

Her parents both nodded. "Then...I gotta tell ya...I ain't coming back to Brooklyn with you," she murmured. "I'm staying in Gotham, with the man I love. I'm gonna help him in every way I can, and I'm never gonna give up on him. And we're gonna be so happy together. So happy. Neither one of us will ever stop smiling again."

Nobody spoke for a long time. And then Harleen's father stood up. "We can't support you in this, Harleen," he said.

"But we will always love you," said her mother, gently.

"I hope one day you'll be able to see him as everyone else does," continued her father. "Until then, take care of yourself and try to be safe. And if you ever need us, you know where we are."