Just Thinking

Thought 24- Lost

Friendship is an interesting thing that will stay with you for ages or it can be lost in a heartbeat. It can be sturdier than a rock or as fragile as porcelain.

There is a guy that is a little older than me and we were really close. I would probably call him one of my closest friends just under a year ago. Some of our friends said that we liked each other and they were convinced that we would be together but I always told them no. He was a good friend. He would purposely walk slowly in front of me in the halls so that i would try to push him faster. When that did not work i would try to pass him but he moved to the left side of the hall, pushing me to the lockers or into an oncoming football player.

In class we could sit there doing our work and make eye contact with funny faces. I was able to talk to him and him me. He shared his drinks with me and we could sit at a lunch table all by ourselves sometimes just talking away or in companionable silence. There was always teasing and names. He nominated me for a position for class officers. This kid got on a ride at an amusement park with me because I was too scared when he just rode it with some other friends. He even held up the pine of just us before we got on just so that he could point out the color of my eyes.

He said something that hurt me but it was behind my back. When I let him know that I knew, he apologized profusely. The thing is that people had been pulling stunts like that a lot at the time. He said that he was not thinking when he said it and did not mean a word of it. It dug deep, though.

When nominations came around this year he did not nominate me. There are no faces made in class and we do not eat lunch together. I am not saying that it is all his fault. We still talk and do some things together but there is no light in his eyes from inside jokes or things that only we do. Things just seem so much mire professional and it is strange. There are moments when it almost feels like it used to. That makes me remember just how close we were. I just really miss him and he is not even gone.

I know you probably so not care but i needed to get this out there so thank you for tolerating this especially if you already know the story.