Shadowed (z.m)

6.

"He hit on you?" Chrissy asked, disbelievingly. I nodded in response, amused by her horrified expression. "But he's back with Perrie!" She practically yelled. Is she honestly surprised by this? He's an ass and will always be one.

"Yeah, he's a man whore." I sighed, rolling onto my stomach. "Your carpet is so soft."

"Are you high or something? Do you know what this means?" Chris questioned, rolling her eyes at me. I looked at her curiously. "He's hopelessly in love with you."

"Chris, he just loves fucking with me." I brushed off her stupid statement. Zayn was incapable of loving anyone but himself. "I'm nothing but a good shag to him."

"But how else would you explain him trying to get with you again, after what happened two years ago. He's just so intrigued by you." She shook her head, biting down on her lip. I swear she is too interested in whatever used to be Zayn and I.

"He obviously thought that I was the same." I laughed, remembering his shock when I pushed him off me just as my hand was dropping lower. Zayn did not take my virginity but he did teach me a lot in that department. I knew exactly what turned him on and which way to touch him. But to my disadvantage to this was vice versa. He knew my body probably better than myself. He'd seen it more times than I will ever be willing to admit. But he doesn't know about my wings. And he never will.

"I still can't believe he did that, I mean he's finally back together with her and they can't stop shoving it in peoples faces yet he runs back to you." Chris flipped her blonde curly hair over her shoulder. "It doesn't make sense."

"He probably has some fucked up idea up his sleeve. Either that or he's the whipped one not me." I sighed, getting up from the floor. "I'll keep you updated sis." I spoke to her before exiting her room.

The party was tonight, I wasn't really excited because a part of me expected Zayn to be there. He'd attend every party in Bradford if he could yet there was still a small sliver if hope that he would not be there. And if he was it would be a complete nightmare, he wouldn't leave me alone. I wasn't even sure that I was going to know anyone there except Adelaide. She never gave me proper details. I'll have to call her later, I reminded myself.

What if Zayn really is there? I mean I can't do what I did yesterday at the party. A huge part of me was telling me that this was a bad idea. That what I did yesterday will backfire. I stomped into my room and started going through my wardrobe, trying to find something to wear tonight and an excuse to take my mind off Zayn.

I still hadn't talked to Drew since our fight which was odd because we'd kind of made up afterwards yet things between us were still tense. I hadn't spoken to my mum either. What kind of mess had I got myself into?

"He's hopelessly in love with you."

He's not. I was his toy, his dirty secret, his whore. I feel so disgusted by myself yet again. He didn't even have to prove himself to me, I just gave in so easily to him. He made me think we had something. He made me feel loved so I just jumped into bed with him. Though our relationship was mostly sex he did have his moments. They were extremely rare but I enjoyed them like crazy. I felt like he might not even had acted that way with Perrie. I felt special. That was until he called me out in front if our school. He blamed his cheating on me. His reputation was scratched, mine was thrown on the floor breaking into a million pieces. Everything was blamed on me, I never got why. I mean he was the one who cheated! It's not worth getting upset about it now though it still hurts like a bitch.

I got out a random outfit and threw it on my bed for later. My mind was reeling and couldn't seem to clam it down. I couldn't vent to Drew either. Yeah, everything kinda sucked. I shoved the clothes out of the way and laid down on my bed. My eyes closed as I tried to calm down and I soon drifted off to sleep.

"Shh, we're not supposed to be here." He whispered, trying to stifle his laugh. I giggled along with him. I was mortal, could hardly stand straight. The adrenaline of what was about to happen was fuelling me, the excitement of what was so wrong but felt so right.

"What? No one's home."

"Yeah but I told her we could talk tonight." He whispered against my neck, shoving me up against the wall. I moaned loudly as he sucked on my sweet spot above my collar bone. I loved when he was rough with me. It was so raw.

"Looks like you went to bed early..." I grinned, moving away from the wall and pushing him down on the bed before climbing on top of him. I smashed my lips against his and started moving my hips against his. The friction was static, making me want more. He moaned into my mouth and I smiled with satisfaction. My hands roamed further down, palming him through his jeans. I could feel him well and I was going crazy of the thought how good he could make me feel. He pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his inked chest. I pulled my shirt off too but in the middle of everything the phone rang. I smirked reaching over and handing it to him.

"Hello." He answered grinning up at me. I smiled back and kissed his chest. God, how I loved the tattoos gracing it. "No, I wasn't feeling well so I went to bed early." He lied and I kissed further down his chest. With each word his voice got shakier. I knew exactly how to tease him, in the meanest way too. My hands reached to his belt, undoing his trousers painfully slow, looking up at him. He hurried his last words to her before hanging up quickly and throwing the phone away.

"Shit..." He panted, as I continued to tease him. I pulled my hair to one side, ready to please him when he stopped me.

"What are these?" He asked, making me sit up. His hands roamed over my back and I looked in the mirror behind me. My wings.

"Wha- I- I..." I stammered.

I flew up, sweating and out of breath. It's okay, it was just a dream, I told myself though my heart was pounding painfully harsh against my rib cage. I'd never ever had a dream like that before. Thing is, it wasn't just a dream, it was a memory until the very end. Oh my god.

I just dreamed that I was gonna blow him?!

What the hell is wrong with me? I almost had a fucking sex dream about him! I bloody, freaking, fucking, despise him. Full fucking stop.

And I dreamt that he saw my wings, that could hardly be good? I mean, he's never gonna see them in reality. And that was a memory, I remember it so clearly even though I was shit drunk. It was one of the first times. I remember how funny I thought it was when he lied to her just as we were going to fuck. How blinded she was by love. But in the end it turned out to be me who was blind to what a horrible person Zayn was. We were both played by him. He has his ways with females.

I was still in shock from that dream, I mean it was a memory and it... got me going. I wasn't surprised by what the dream was about. It's been two years c'mon. But the fact that it was Zayn, and it was me pleasing him. Disgusting. My eyes scanned over my room and I looked at the time. Almost seven. Shit, I slept through the whole afternoon. I better get ready for that party, I thought miserably, walking to my bathroom.

After an hour of shaving my legs (and other needed areas), straightening my hair and doing my make up I was pretty much done. The party was bit away but Adelaide was picking me up. Though I had no clue of how I was going to get home considering both of us will probably be shitfaced at the end of the night. Good luck Holly!