Our Downside

Chapter 4

Have you ever woken up one morning , feeling like complete shit for no reason? Maybe you had a reason, I guess I do too.

Everything was all hearts and rainbows until I went to sleep last night. Everything came back to me, reminding me why I shouldn't be smiling. Why I shouldn't be happy that Justin's my friend, why I shouldn't be happy he kissed me.

It made me realize I'm not supposed to be happy,

because the memories will always stick with me.

Months have gone by, and when I'm finally at what I would consider my happiness. I had that dream again.

The house was freezing cold, as it was every night, but something about that night was different.

Things were already different since mom died, but I felt strange walking down the steps. They creeked louder to me and I stopped in the middle of the staircase.

On the couch that was only a few feet away from me, was the most disgusting person I have ever known. I bet you can already picture him, a fat slob, who never shaves, and has a bunch of beer cans crushed up besides him. That's the picture that paints its self in everyone's head. But that's not what he looks like.

He's stiff, with broad shoulders and a thin mustache thats always groomed. I never look him in the eye, not even as a little girl; I was always too afraid to.

A couple of months after mom passed always, he was released from the military. And when he came back, all hell broke loose.

The smallest piece of nothing that ever got left on the floor would get us all in a heap of trouble. Out rooms had to be impossibly neat, everyone's clothes had to be washed, everyday that is. And then everyday, there were the beatings, and Scottie, being the oldest, lost his mind one day.

He called dad a few unmentionable names, and all I could remember after that is my little brother,Austin, dialing 911.

Scottie was unconscious on the floor, every breakable thing in his room was used as a weapon against him. The last thing I see before this dream always ends is him in the back of the ambulance, nearly unrecognizable.

That's the kind of thing that makes me wanna stay up all night, thinking of a way to to erase all the trauma I've endured.

I ran my hand through my bed head and take my phone off the side table. There's already 3 texts from Justin.

Before I even have a chance to text him back, my phone starts ringing.

I wonder who?

"Morning bed head." Justin sang in to the phone.

"Shut up, why are you calling so early, we don't have to be at school for another two and a half hours!?" I just about yelled at him.

"Chill," he chuckled, "I can't call my friend to talk about stuff other than school?"

"Not at 6 in the morning you can't!"

"Don't be that way babe." I snarled up my nose and pulled the covers back up over my legs.

"I told you to never call me babe, especially not right now, I'm super pissed at you." The line was quiet for a minute.

"Open your balcony door, I need to show you something." The call cut short and I frowned a little.

Surely he isn't standing on my balcony this early in the morning,but knowing Justin, he probably is.

I hesitated for a few seconds but I got up and unlocked the door. Justin tapped on the glass just before i opened it.